Good Evening,
My half brother (different mom) has been suffering from some mental health issues for quite a few years now- appearing to be almost depressed/sullen/down. He was placed on an antidepressant about a year ago, and though the first 6 months saw an improvement in his mood/ability to cope, he then began to behave more erratically, with larger swings in mood and an inability to relate or show empathy. Last summer he began to experience multiple negative life events- hernia surgery/off work, his mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer and passed away in a matter of a few months, our sister had a recurrence of her breast cancer (cured now), his marriage fell apart largely due to his escalating mental health issues, he was told to obtain counselling from his job and has been off work since late august with a brief 1 week stint back in the fall that ended with him back off due to his volatility at work, and moved out of his family home due to the divorce. He initially moved into his mom's house with his mom's partner, but left after too many frequent tense episodes. He is now living with my parents for the past couple of months. He has been seeing counsellors and psychologists (as dictated by his work) but our family is unsure of where things are at with his treatments and diagnoses as he does not typically share this information. Here is where I am asking for advice.
He has moved just about everything he possibly could into my parents' house, even though it was supposed to a temporary measure. He is slowly, but completely taking over their space. My parents live on an acreage and though he has no money, he is trying to buy a quad and skidoo...and would assume to store it on their property. He has already brought his vehicles, boat, and trailer to their place. He has borrowed money from them multiple times. He has frequently talked about how he's going to buy a house (with money from the divorce and a buy out of his portion of his mom's house), but then is saying he will jsut keep my parents' place and they'll move to his new smaller house...this house fell through as he has no money. Now he's talking about making their basement into a suite, and MY PARENTS moving downstairs and him taking the house...and has even suggested they buy a trailer to put out in the yard where THEY would live, with him again keeping their house. There have been multiple episodes of him getting very worked up over what should be minor things. He will not ever take responsibility for anything- it's always everyone else's fault. He gets fixated on people not respecting him but does not typically show respect to those around him anymore. When he gets angry, which seems to be occuring more often and more extreme with time, he gets red/purple, storms around, and yells at my parents. He has slammed doors and pounded tables. He has demanded "family meetings" with my parents simply to yell at them. He will not ever listent to other perspectives, especially ones that disagree with his position.
I am worried about my parents. He is taking advantage of them- borrowing money, living there for free, and not-so-subtely seemingly planning to kick them out of their own house so he can live this lifestyle he thinks he's so entitled to without paying anything. I Worry about these outbursts and his volatility. I don't trust him to not cross a line and do something wrong...hurt them, hurt himself. However, my parents, even though they agree with that, don't feel it's "bad enough" to make him leave. It feels like nothing is going to make him start to cope and improve his life as of now...because why would he have to make changes when he doesn't have to? My parents feel uncomfortable in their own home and I suspect that the tipping point will be some sort of confrontation that ends with police involvement...
What can I do about this? In the end, it is my parents' choice to let him stay or not. There is of course the concern of where he would go if they kick him out, but as there does not appear to be any improvements in sight...his behaviour, treatment, income, etc...the "help" and support they are trying to give him seems to only be enabling his behaviour and lack of responsibility. He is nearly 50, with a 12yr old son who doesnt feel safe around him and doesn't want to see him anymore...
How can I help him? How can I help my parents? I feel like my parents' safety is the main prriority right now and I worry daily that it is in jeopardy more and more.
I am worried
