Must find out if husband has BPD RUSH

[Depression = 72% of members]

  :help:I have been married to a very difficult husband. He can be very charming but usually moody. My daughter has a nickname for him. Mr Grompy. I wore a beautiful dress for my church wedding. I walked down the aisle and when finally there at the altar .. he looks at me (we had been highschool sweathearts) what comes out of his mouth? ...
“You are still on time.. you can walk away” i was only 22. Years later watching my wedding film ; it hit me! An emotional abuser.
Now we have been together for 38 years.
Thought he was going to outgrow his emotional scars but it is much worse now. He had an abbusive alcoholic father who was also gone frequently ( USA NAVY) . Need to figure it out . I have deppression/ panic attacks/ anxiety. I need to help myself. Please help someone!

[Rose2]

  :help:I have been married to a very difficult husband. He can be very charming but usually moody. My daughter has a nickname for him. Mr Grompy. I wore a beautiful dress for my church wedding. I walked down the aisle and when finally there at the altar .. he looks at me (we had been highschool sweathearts) what comes out of his mouth? ...
“You are still on time.. you can walk away” i was only 22. Years later watching my wedding film ; it hit me! An emotional abuser.
Now we have been together for 38 years.
Thought he was going to outgrow his emotional scars but it is much worse now. He had an abbusive alcoholic father who was also gone frequently ( USA NAVY) . Need to figure it out . I have deppression/ panic attacks/ anxiety. I need to help myself. Please help someone!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[paperinkart]

I’m not sure what the big rush is for but I am very sorry you’re feeling this way!

If anxiety is causing you to feeling like you need to figure this out right NOW, please keep in mind that anxiety is just doing it’s job. It’s safe to let things be as they are for a little while longer and you are safe to feel calm and rational as you think about this a little more.

Unfortunately, diagnosing BPD is often a very long process- one that can only really be done by a therapist or professional. You can read much more about other people’s experiences on this board, and perhaps pick up the book “Loving Someone with BPD” to see if any of these symptoms match your husbands behaviour. My own partner is currently undiagnosed but by doing these things and trusting your instincts, you can be a pretty good judge to see if this is what is affecting your husband.

I found a lot of relief when I learned about this message board and learned that other people were experiencing relationships this same way! In fact, I was pretty mind-blown. Suddenly our rollercoaster relationship made perfect sense and I found so much compassion and knowledge to approach the situation in a very different way.

I hope you can find the same relief but please take care of your well-being first. I hope you feel better soon. We are here for you!