Need Help

[In Deep]

 Hello my 21 daughter has BPB is living on her own and I have been the enabler bailing her out over and over! My boy friend is over the top with me because I keep responding to her abusive behavior and throwing a wedge in my relationship with him for almost two years now. He does not believe a word I say because I just keep bailing her out and trying to get her to take control of her life, which she has, has a full time good job that she likes lives on her own doesn’t eat right and is always sick and is perfectly fine and carries on until she goes off on me and blames me for everything and I instead of trying to make her responsible for her choices I jump in to save her once again!
I did that for the last time over this past weekend and need to change my behavior with hopes that I do not lose the only man in my life because as he has said I am not only ruining my life I’m ruining his my daughters and no one in my family can depend on me! My boyfriend right now doesn’t want to talk to me and doesn’t,t believe a word out of my mouth! Any insight would be appreciated, thank you!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

 Hello In Deep. I am sorry you are finding so much conflict in your relationships with your daughter and significant other. Many of us here myself included find that getting counseling for ourselves is a good idea. The stressors we encounter loving children with BPD  are enormous. In your case perhaps couples counseling may be helpful as well. I know it was for my husband and I when we were in conflict over how best to care for our son with BPD. Is that an option for you too?