Exhausted

[shield-me]

Having a uBPD brother is so energy draining for me. There is this frustrating 'up and down' energy, it's difficult to deal with. I get headaches everyday.

Do any of you get exhausted with uBPD siblings? I'm sure you do get exhausted but I just want to read your stories so that I feel less alone in this misery. When your sibling is your enemy, it's uncomfortable and exhausting. Sometimes I feel like only forums understand me.

[zachira]

You want to know if having a sibling with BPD is exhausting. I have two siblings with BPD and yes, it is exhausting, all the raging and being mad over what seems like nothing.
Do you have any way to spend time away from your sibling?

[TelHill]

Do any of you get exhausted with uBPD siblings? I'm sure you do get exhausted but I just want to read your stories so that I feel less alone in this misery. When your sibling is your enemy, it's uncomfortable and exhausting. Sometimes I feel like only forums understand me.

Yes and it is delaying my healing from the loss of my husband.

Taking my mom to an afternoon doctor’s appointment drains me for two days. It’s tiring. I do the gray rock method to quiet the verbal attacks which come out of nowhere. That works the majority of times to defuse her abuse bombs.

I think Buddha would be downing No-Doz to fight exhaustion if he had to deal with a bpd family member. It’s a human reaction.

[TelHill]

I forgot to add that spending time away is good for me & for my FOO. I am a reliable & helpful person. They depend on me when they can do for themselves. It makes my parents less stressed when they help themselves. Don’t know why.

[shield-me]

You want to know if having a sibling with BPD is exhausting. I have two siblings with BPD and yes, it is exhausting, all the raging and being mad over what seems like nothing.
Do you have any way to spend time away from your sibling?

When I get exhausted over being a victim of sibling abuse, I just go for a walk or go to the local coffee shop.

I empathize with you, having two BPD siblings is enough stress. How do you spend time away from them?

[shield-me]

Yes and it is delaying my healing from the loss of my husband.

Taking my mom to an afternoon doctor’s appointment drains me for two days. It’s tiring. I do the gray rock method to quiet the verbal attacks which come out of nowhere. That works the majority of times to defuse her abuse bombs.

I think Buddha would be downing No-Doz to fight exhaustion if he had to deal with a bpd family member. It’s a human reaction.

Sorry for the loss of your husband. My sympathies.

I lost my father recently and my sibling's uBPD got worse. I even had to use the gray rock method too. When I'm calm I'm good at gray rocking but sometimes when I'm going through my own problems, I'm terrible at gray rocking.

Yes, I'm sure Buddha would be very stressed about our BPD siblings.

[shield-me]

I forgot to add that spending time away is good for me & for my FOO. I am a reliable & helpful person. They depend on me when they can do for themselves. It makes my parents less stressed when they help themselves. Don’t know why.

Yes, spending time away from the BPD family member is the best thing, I'm always forgetting to do that, I need to do that more. 

I've noticed a lot of victims of BPD family members like us are always helpful to our families. And, I've noticed BPD family members do not appreciate us, all the hard work we do is just overlooked.

[zachira]

Shield-me,
Yes, we do a lot of giving without there being much in the way of reciprocation if any from our family members with BPD. There is a point where the one sideness of the relationship with a BPD is just too exhausting.
I am glad to hear you are planning on spending some time away from your brother with BPD. Low contact is the most effective strategy that I use, as time spent with my family members with BPD is just so draining.

[TelHill]

shield-me & zachira,

Yes, we are the Cinderellas or Cinderfellas of the family.  That’s what underlies my anger towards them & exhaustion of being taken for granted. LC or NC is a firm and peaceful no to a dysfunctional relationship.