How is the coronavirus affecting you and your family?

[zachira]

The coronavirus is affecting us all. I am wondering how everybody is doing. Those of us who have family members with BPD may be feeling especially strained and stressed as our family members with BPD are more likeley to spiral out of control in times of extreme stress.

[Spindle0516]

Ugh. I am hoping that we are seeing the worst of the Coronavirus now. My MIL had expressed concern over the health of my husband and I as we both work in the airline industry. We are on planes constantly and we are all over the country regularly. Honestly, I am worried about our health too, apart from how flying is being cut, and not knowing how it will affect our jobs.

But really, we worry about her health now too because
1. She already has a compromised immune system and is more susceptible to being sick
2. She is known to play up symptoms, both real and fake ones, for attention and right now is not an ideal time to be doing that. Medical staff need to be focused on people who are actually unwell.

How are you doing with it, zachira?

[zachira]

Spindle 0516,
I hear all your concerns and don't know what to say, as you have so much on your plate. I am afraid so many people have multiple concerns like yours: exposure to the cornavirus, job loss, and how their family members with BPD will be affected. I can't imagine what it must be like right now working in the airline industry.
I think I am in a pretty good place, as I am not working right now, and can stay home. I think my savings will allow me to weather the storm, at least I hope so.
I am really concerned for other people all over the world. How many families are there that have no savings and will end up homeless? My heart breaks thinking about all the suffering.
I know that people who post on this site have special strengths. We have dealt with a lifetime of dealing with family members with BPD, and the lessons we have learned I think will help us deal with the cornavirus pandemic.

[TelHill]

I’m a little stressed from the fear of a worst case scenario. I’m fine otherwise.

I hope the infection rate flattens out. It’s disheartening to hear what’s happened in China and Italy.

[wmm]

My bpdM is in the middle of a fight with my dad, brother and me (I just made a seperate post). She is staying in a hotel. She goes out a lot so she can drink (she's an alcoholic) and because she wants to be social. I'm worried about her and I think she would be safer at home. I'm supposed to meet up with her next week at a restaurant to discuss our problem. I have kidney disease so my immune is compromised too. I don't want to meet her in a public place but I'm afraid to meet with her in private. I need advice. Really stressing out.

[twocrazycats]

zachira, I usually post over on the son/daughter board, as it is my daughter who is the person with BPD in my life. However, I'm pretty sure my mother had bpd as well, and possibly my brother, so I come over here, too.

Mostly, I wanted to say thank you for thinking of others at this time. You have always been one of the kindest people in your responses.

My dd is in college, home on spring break, and now her college is closed for at least another week while they decide if they are going to switch to online or not. I am praying that they are going to be able to open as planned after the extra week. I gave more details on the other board, but she is not doing well being home all this time and not at all doing well with the uncertainty of the situation. It will be very bad if she ends up staying home until August. Living at college had been like therapy for her, better than therapy, actually. Now she is afraid of losing all she'd gained, becoming unstable again. I am afraid of her becoming unstable again. Neither her mental health nor mine is in good shape right now. I am more concerned about our mental health than about the virus. This is extremely difficult for our family members with bpd. I'm wondering if anyone is tracking whether there is an increase in suicide due to the extreme due to all the negative emotions involved for those with bpd and other mental health issues and their families (I would imagine there will be). And I'm wondering if the increase in suicide rate will be higher than the fatalities from the virus. I don't know, but it's bad here. Even many people without mental health issues are feeling extreme stress.

I do also worry about the people who will not be working and will never be able to recoup their losses.

Thank you again for thinking of everyone else. I'm glad you can stay home without worries. I'm retired, so I'm also staying home. I've been doing some substitute teaching, but now the schools are closed around here, so no jobs for a while, and I will lose that money. But I can handle that.

2CC

[Mata]

My mom wBPD lives in an independent living apartment that is part of an assisted living community.  They just instituted a no visitor policy.  I'm relieved, not so much because of the virus, but because it gives me a break from visiting or feeling guilty for not visiting.
 
From a virus standpoint, I worry about her because she has serious health issues (heart and lungs) but she doesn't see herself as at risk. So far she seems okay with the facility rules and staying home. But she has a hair appointment next week that she refuses to cancel, so we'll see how that goes.  I'm anticipating a meltdown if they tell her she can't go.  

[zachira]

Good to hear from everyone. It seems for some of us the coronavirus pandemic means seeing more of our family member with BPD, and/or having to deal with how extra stressed out our family member with BPD is due to changes brought about by the pandemic. Others seem to be getting somewhat of a welcome relief from seeing so much of their family member with BPD.
I do think we all have some special strengths to share because having a family member with BPD has taught us a lot about adapting to difficult situations. Please share some of your strengths and how it is helping you to deal with the coronavirus pandemic, as we all learn from each other on this site.

[Panda39]

I'm somewhat stressed but am doing well.

My son and I work in the same hospital, he works in Purchasing and supplies many of the units including the Emergency Dept
 and ICU.  Of our family members I see him most at risk, but also know that he his young and healthy.  

I work in Human Resources in a building separate from the main hospital building.  Our focus has been on staffing (who can work, getting agency staff on-board, and who can work where etc.), creating policies and procedures in response to things like employee travel, employee exposure/illness, working from home for some staff, cancelling meetings and events in our community, how the closing of schools will effect staffing and what resources do we have (many school districts in my area have shut down and many colleges are switching to on-line learning following spring break)...

I was on a 14th floor balcony during the 7.1 Loma Prieta earthquake in 1989 and literally thought I might die and I had a weird sense of calm, because what was going to happen was beyond my control.  I feel that way now too,  yes we can control some things but I can't necessarily control whether or not I get sick, so I have a sense calm resignation.  I'm not high risk for issues so I'm just doing my best to prepare if I need to stay home or if I need to help a work.

My SD 23 is a teacher and her school shut down today and will be closed through the end of the month.  Her kids were sent home with Chrome books and assignments so they can keep working.  My SD19 will be home today from college for spring break and likely will be here after that doing school remotely on-line.  

My partner has 2 jobs one where he can work from home but a 2nd job working for Amazon pulling orders (I'm not sure what their plans are)

So basically we are going to be a crowded house for the rest of the month a least.  But the goal is to keep transmission slowed so we in healthcare aren't overwhelmed.  So far around here anyway that is working.

Thinking of you all  
Panda39

[TelHill]

Things have changed here in the last 24 hours. It’s been a shock. All schools are closed for the next 2 weeks. We have to have a personal safety zone of staying 6 feet away from each other at events.

I went to mass this morning. The attached elementary school was closed with a truck disinfecting it. The priest told us the archbishop will announce today if all masses will be canceled or limited for the time being.

My niece will be getting married tonight in a church with very few people there. I feel safe with that. 

However, am not going to the reception tomorrow. I am afraid of getting sick from the cooks or servers. Some  of our relatives aren’t going. My brother refuses to postpone the reception. I would postpone it to keep everyone safe and healthy if it were my child. I can control only myself though.

Stay safe everyone.

[GaGrl]

My husband and I are on the other side of the country from our home, having a wonderful vacation. I will be home tomorrow and will assess the situation with my mother, who lives with us and is 93 years old. I am 66 and have asthma, she of course is health compromised in multiple ways.

My husband is a financial advisor and has been taking calls this week from clients who are not panicking but nervous.

We are taking it day by day.

[shield-me]

I have depression over the news but I try to cope with listening to nice music. I stopped listening to the news, it's just making me sick. I felt mild nausea a few days ago but I had lemon, lime and ginger teas all week (it works!).Make sure to add honey to the tea, it's nice and sweet. I'm better now but I'm still self-isolating just to keep safe. I heard garlic is good too if you feel a little sick.

My uBPD brother is getting into the panic of things, repeatedly talking about hand gel crisis and how it's affecting sports games. My uBPD brother has uOCD and he hoards a lot of unneccessary things.

[Recycle]

I am healthy and so is my wife. We have enough supplies to quarantine if needed. My uBPD Mom (71 with chronic health conditions) hung up on me two weeks ago. A boundary of mine is to not speak with her until she calls me after she acts in such a way. She hasn’t called yet and it is creating a lot of FOG for me.

[zachira]

I am having trouble finding the words to reply to everyone's posts. I am admiring everyone's resilience in dealing with a global crisis that impacts nearly every aspect of our lives so immediately and so deeply. How is everyone doing today? Does anyone have any words of wisdom or stories that they would like to share?

[Skip]

We have self-quarantined for 6 days now. We have cut off visitation with children and grandchildren for 6-8 weeks, social, church, restaurants, movies, sports. For spring break we are doing a stay-cation and plan to focus on outdoor exercise (bikes, kayaks, hiking).

FaceTime is getting a good workout with the grandkids.

We have stock pilled food over the last three weeks - we just happen to have 50 cubic ft of refrigeration, so we can hold a lot of supplies. There us still things we will need to buy, but we are committed to shopping for essentials very early in the day.

We are concerned with the murky and conflicting communications in the media - for example, it has been widely said that surgical masks don't help. The fact is that they do help - but they are not 100% (like a N95 or n99 mask) - but 50% of 80% is still helpful. In China, one women infected half a train car - but none of the commuters with masks were infected.

We are concerned about the attitude of many - "I'm young and young people aren't at risk". This is true, however, most people catch COVID-19 from their family cluster.

We are taking an abundance of caution and waiting for insight from the change in outdoor temperatures, testing that is soon to takes place, and the reaction if public health serious so that we know how serious this thing is.

[Spindle0516]

I'm a flight attendant, so this has definitely been impacting my place of work. I want to just stay home to protect myself and my family, but we don't get paid unless we are in the air, and we still have to pay rent! 

Most planes are oddly empty- I'm working a flight today that has only 20 people booked on it as opposed to 160.

I'm just washing my hands like crazy and eagerly waiting to go home tonight!

[Harri]

For me, things have not changed that much.  I have multiple chronic health issues that put me at risk during normal times, never mind during a pandemic.  The good news is that I was already isolated and doing so now is nothing new.  I can cope with that quite well.   Oh!  And I am not 60... so that keeps me safe right? <sarcasm!>

I broke my foot last week and visited an urgent center rather than the ER I would usually go to.  It was okay and I saw nothing out of the ordinary in terms of precautions except for those yellow gowns being used (the ones they use when I am in the hospital).  I have always washed my hands obsessively and slathered myself in hand sanitizer (a little past my elbows ), especially as when I worked i was in Health care.  The habit became etched in stone after I got sick.

What is causing me mild anxiety is that I am dependent on delivery service and have been for years.  Trying to get delivery of groceries and supplies is different now to say the least.  A 9 day wait for groceries, which is not that bad considering,  (now only 6 days) but not a disinfectant wipe or bottle of hand sanitizer available to replenish my stash.    This is stuff I use daily, not just in a pandemic... and then I remind myself that I have enough for about a couple of months.     After that, I will figure it out.  I have lots of bleach and peroxide if needed.  I was happy to see that I can get a 12 pack of toilet paper (my usual as I like to have plenty!) so I feel lucky there    

I'm not hoarding any more than usual medical supplies though I do have my fingers crossed that I will get the toilet paper I ordered when I get my delivery on Sunday!  <---- It is things like this that can make me laugh especially when i find myself wishing I had a bidet.  I also scored with being able to order Lysol spray, so I hope that makes the delivery too.  I told my nurse who comes 3xs a week that she will have to spray herself before she comes within 6 feet of me.  heh heh  She told me to shut up and laughed.

Interestingly enough, the home health care agency that my nurse works through is not requiring the nurses or other workers to wear masks.  Not sure how I feel about that.  If I get sick, they are the only ones who have been in my house.  Fortunately they only do wound care visits for the most part.  <sighs>  

All that said, if I read too much i get anxious so I restrict myself to 5 minutes a day on my state heath department site and the CDC site.  Beyond that, I don't know who to believe and am not sure how sanitized the info the health dept and CDC is giving out in efforts not to cause more panic.  

Now, is food delivery safe?  I am craving BBQ pizza...

[GaGrl]

Sadly, we lost a family member last week (Alzheimers), whose body is being shipped home for burial. What a time for her son/DIL to have to travel! They are keeping the services as simple as possible -- visitation for an hour prior to a short graveside service. I am having the family over for the repast afterward, but we expect only 12-15 people.

After that, I plan to become a hermit.

[Harri]

I am sorry to hear about your relative Gagrl.  I hope you all find ways to honor them.  We had a church service and short graveside service when my dad died and I can say it was quite nice.  I liked it better than the usual which was a surprise to me as I had been feeling odd about not doing the usual.  I hope you all can find some peace.

Hang in everyone. 

[zachira]

I think everyone is doing a really exceptional job hanging in there as the coronavirus pandemic continues to affect more aspects of our lives every day as new measures go into effect. What do you need help with? What are you and your family most proud of in the ways you are responding to the coronavirus pandemic?