Wedding Part 1

[TelHill]

To recap, my niece was married last evening. My mom is the dBPD and my brother, my niece’s dad, is the gc and has a mild form of a PD (Would guess sociopathy).  My mom raged and dysregulated a lot, except when around others. My brother was passive aggressive, lied and refused to assist our disabled mom. In public, he was charming and pushed me out of the way to assist mom.

RA of their lifetime patterns helped me enjoy the small party which followed the ceremony. I gray rocked my FOO & talked with a few new people.  I had a great time.

My niece is having a large reception tonight.  There will be extended family members to gray rock in addition to the FOO. I am planning to enjoy myself either with meeting new people or going on my phone.  I don’t want to miss being there for her big celebration. 

[zachira]

Telhill,
I am so proud of you: to get to the point where you can attend an important family celebration, observe the behaviors of the disordered family members and still enjoy the event, is something to personally celebrate, perhaps more than the wedding itself. As you know, I am in the process of doing RA, and so glad you are experiencing RA as well. It is so freeing to do RA and forget about trying to change the behaviors of the disordered family members we are stuck having LC with if we want to see some of the family members who we do want to be around.

[TelHill]

Thanks, zachira, for your support!

I met some friends of the bride who were kind and fun.

I did speak with some of the cousins I dreaded. What they said was painful - one displayed his  Munchausen’s Syndrome and Munchausen’s Syndrome by proxy, two were ridiculing a developmentally disabled late relative. There were other insensitive remarks and shunning from others.

This behavior stirs a lot in me: sorrow for their misguided behavior, sorrow for the people they hurt, and hope that they have the courage to empathize with others,

Now I will be permanently NC. I will continue to hope they turn their lives around.

[madeline7]

Yay! You did it. You were there for your niece, for your self, and achieved the balance you were hoping for. So happy to hear!

[TelHill]

Thanks, Madeline, for your support! 

It was fun and I was able to set and maintain boundaries. A win-win situation.   

[shield-me]

Family gatherings give me anxiety and panic attacks because of my uBPD brother always messing things up. TelHill, you are VERY brave to attend the wedding! 

[TelHill]

Thanks. That was my swan song to my mean, racist cousins and greedy brother.  I had a good time despite them. RA is a great tool!