Lying to me, Lying to herself, Lying to her therpist

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I am angry.  Two weeks ago my mom made another suicide attempt (the 8th since I was a kid). And while there wasn't as much intent, I take all of them seriously because one of these days she is going to "accidentally" take too much in an overdose and actually die. She has been lying to me that it was an accident and she just wanted to talk to someone (I know she is lying because her story keeps changing)...well the suicide hotline only calls 911 on 3% of calls (I read this online) so clearly, it was serious. I've learned she also has never been truthful with her therapist regarding past attempts and suicidal ideation/behavior. She was hospitalized for 72 hours after this last attempt as the hospital deemed necessary (she denies she needed it) and I don't think she will tell her T anything about it. I'm mad because she isn't going to get the help she needs if she's not honest and it's only a matter of time before the 9th attempt happens, and I truly believe its not a matter of if my mom dies by suicide but when. I don't understand why I am so beyond angry but I guess how do I stop being so mad?

[Anonymoose100]

I am angry.  Two weeks ago my mom made another suicide attempt (the 8th since I was a kid). And while there wasn't as much intent, I take all of them seriously because one of these days she is going to "accidentally" take too much in an overdose and actually die. She has been lying to me that it was an accident and she just wanted to talk to someone (I know she is lying because her story keeps changing)...well the suicide hotline only calls 911 on 3% of calls (I read this online) so clearly, it was serious. I've learned she also has never been truthful with her therapist regarding past attempts and suicidal ideation/behavior. She was hospitalized for 72 hours after this last attempt as the hospital deemed necessary (she denies she needed it) and I don't think she will tell her T anything about it. I'm mad because she isn't going to get the help she needs if she's not honest and it's only a matter of time before the 9th attempt happens, and I truly believe its not a matter of if my mom dies by suicide but when. I don't understand why I am so beyond angry but I guess how do I stop being so mad?

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi Anonymoose100,  

Welcome to our online family! Thank you for sharing some of what's going on and what you're feeling.

First I just want to say, I'm sorry. So so sorry. For you to be put through this emotional pain from all her suicide attempts is awful. My uBPDm threatened suicide a lot, and the memories still stay with me, and I'm in my 50's now. I know she tried but I don't remember it. So many attempts must leave you feeling something that I cannot imagine.    No wonder you're angry.

Anger is said to be an emotion that hides deeper feelings. What do you think those deeper feelings are for you?

Wools

[shield-me]

Hi Anonymoose100,

Having a BPD family member is so difficult. I feel like crying for you, so sorry