How are you adjusting your boundaries with BPD family members during pandemic?

[zachira]

The coronavirus pandemic is testing our boundaries with our family members with BPD. Some of us will have less contact with our family members with BPD, and hopefully get some needed rest and relief. Others will have more contact than normal with their family members with BPD, and will likely have to adjust their boundaries with them so everybody in the family is less overwhelmed. How are you adjusting your boundaries with your family members with BPD during the coronavirus pandemic?

[NightwingingIt]

Are you looking for suggestions for yourself or just curious?

Personally, I'm in college and live at home. But without school or work, I now have infinitely more time with my diagnosed BPD dad. (I see some people will write dBPD, is the d for diagnosed?) Adjusting boundaries is hard, especially when I had only just begun to set them. It's only been a week and I've already had a small argument with my dad that lead to one of his next day lectures on why he was right that gave me an anxiety attack. What I'm saying is, this is going to be a very hard transition for all of us, not just with the virus, but with the unstable person in our lives in whatever way your bpd is in your life.

In order to cope with this whole trapped indefinitely in an unstable home thing, I've taken to locking my door, which can be a dangerous options since last time I had this habit in middle school my dad broke the doorknob off the door. I've also been working on creating a space for myself in the basement to focus on school work because I know this is a place my dad will not go or think to look for me at first.

Now, a lot of the things I'm trying are resulting from knowing I cannot, at this time, sit down and have a direct talk with my dad about coexisting in this space for the next however long. If that's an option for you, I would highly recommend it, but I understand that can be very difficult when there might be no way for you to take a break from whatever reaction you might get.

I hope everyone is able to get what they need in this stressful time, and that y'all stay safe!

[zachira]

Nightwinginglt,
Thank you for sharing. I admire how you are adjusting your boundaries to deal with living and possibly having to spend more time with your diagnosed BPD dad. You are helping others by sharing what you are doing. Please keep us posted on how it is going.

[Whatevs]

My sibling is just making an already stressful situation much harder. They don’t want to be isolated and I can understand how scary that is for them with this condition however it’s become all about them and their needs with no regard for the rest of us.

[zachira]

Just read a post by my sister with BPD on FamilyListServe. She is bragging about swearing at a family that got 4 feet away from her, instead of the recommended 6 feet. She is claiming that people should stay 20 feet away from each other. The lack of emotional maturity of my family members with BPD is unbelievable! I am staying no contact with my siblings with BPD for now, as I don't need to be a part of their meltdowns which I am sure are going to increase with the coronavirus pandemic.

[shield-me]

zachira and whatevs, I also have a BPD sibling, it's abuse hell. I have to social distance and self-isolate from that sibling all the time!