I feel lost and that I'm failing my Girlfriend

[Davidsmiths]

Hello, im sorry if i format this wrong or use incorrect terms, i hope to stay active within this community so i will learn quickly.

I have been with my (undiagnosed but shows many traits of BPD) girlfriend approaching 2 years now and I don't know what to do. Our relationship has always been very up and down, but things have been going down and down and I feel I am being irresponsible not acting - both for my own mental health and her safety.

I try to be what she needs, but after countless weeks of depression as a result of her problems, I am coming to the conclusion I am not capable of handling her.
I want desperately for her to find a source of help because firstly I am not coping, but also it breaks my heart seeing her go through this all day everyday. Her parents are a potential hurdle to her finding help as they often dismiss her struggles as her being a princess. I do believe they would understand if I talked to them, but I'm not sure how or if I should do that.
We have open conversations about her struggles and in a good mood she agrees with me 100% until i suggest there is someone out there who will be able to genuinely help her.
The last thing i want to do is leave her both because i still love her, but I am also gravely scared of how she would react.
I bought the Eggshells book and am going through as quickly as i can, but it feels like I can't read it quickly enough and i need support from a person.

Please if anyone knows anything that would help me or my girlfriend, or anything i can do to seek out the answers we need. Im more than happy to give any and all details that might be useful to anyone.
Thank you i would greatly appreciate any and all comments <3

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.