Sometimes I feel like i'm the one with BPD -Happen to anyone else?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Thank you Rev, that means a lot to hear.

Making the choice was important, a challenge, but it got me on a path I want to be on.  I realized I have some inner personal growth and acceptance of personal challenges to work through.

One of the most rewarding things to come out of this experience has been the improvement in my relationship with my two kids, I realized I had to step fully into being their father instead of being on and off the sidelines with them.

[Attic]

Thank you Rev, that means a lot to hear.

Making the choice was important, a challenge, but it got me on a path I want to be on.  I realized I have some inner personal growth and acceptance of personal challenges to work through.

One of the most rewarding things to come out of this experience has been the improvement in my relationship with my two kids, I realized I had to step fully into being their father instead of being on and off the sidelines with them.

[GoblinMom]

Attic,
BPD is a spectrum, from mild to severe.  You can have some BPD behaviors without having full fledged BPD.  I think when have too much stress for a long time were can all have a few BPD behaviors.  When I have to work without a break for a long time I get weepy, get mad and start arguing with my boss and I don't usually do that..  The last time I did it I said to him that I wondered if I had BPD and he said, "So do you know anybody else like you?  I need to hire one more person". 

I think that a break up can be very stressful and a good reason to see a therapist even if just to have them clarify things for you.
Best of luck to you

[Attic]

Yes.

When our relationship with an SO pushes us into that mental state it is confusing.

I'm taking a moment to update the Forum that I chose to Block and go NC.  Not easy and sometimes I feel like i'm falling without a parachute, though i'm being mindful to accept that this is a choice to give up hope for the relationship.

My breaking point was realizing that the more I tried to have a healthy and loving relationship, the more she would hurt me.  I acknowledged that I didn't have any control over that.

[BuildingFromScratch]

I mean, I was actually probably misdiagnosed only a couple years ago with BPD, my current counselor doesn't think I have it, I don't think I have it. But I sometimes have felt like I do, especially right after the breakup.

All the projection, abuse and manipulation causes you to feel like how they feel, and as your self esteem crashes, and you start to feel horrible about yourself, you become desperate, needy, afraid of abandonment, more impulsive, more prone to guilt, shame, projection, less trusting, etc. In other words you actually start exhibiting a lot of the same traits as them.

The truth thought is I definitely had some traits before the relationship, but to a lesser degree. But the relationship amplified them, and then added new issues.

We can heal a lot quicker than they can though, I'm about 8 years or so out of the relationship and I still deal with some of the trauma (granted I was in the relationship a long time, 10 years). Still, I feel like with a lot of hard work and abstaining from romantic relationships, I've come a really long way.

People with BPD are stuck in repeating the exact same mistakes over and over though, jumping from relationship to relationship. I think one of the telltale signs of not being BPD is that you can live without a relationship. BPD is a disorder based on dependency.

[Rev]

Yes.

When our relationship with an SO pushes us into that mental state it is confusing.

I'm taking a moment to update the Forum that I chose to Block and go NC.  Not easy and sometimes I feel like i'm falling without a parachute, though i'm being mindful to accept that this is a choice to give up hope for the relationship.

My breaking point was realizing that the more I tried to have a healthy and loving relationship, the more she would hurt me.  I acknowledged that I didn't have any control over that.

Attic

Healthy discerning.  I was in the same place. Decided it was time to end the abuse before I ended up on stress leave for domestic issues.

Hang in there.

Rev.