Preparing for seminary lead to our estrangement

[Futurepastor]

Hi all! First time poster here. Breathing a sigh of relief to have found you all.

I have a mother with undiagnosed BPD. I am preparing to go to seminary, and moved back in with my parents after personal trauma (my boyfriend cheated and tried to commit suicide when we broke up in our home). My mother’s BPD showed up within hours of me coming home , and she tried to lock me in my childhood bedroom while screaming obscenities through the door because I thought I was better than her for going to be a minister.


I am 29 years old, and completely rational- but in moments with my BPD parent, I revert to my childlike mindset. After crying for a bit on the floor, I packed up my suitcase, and left in the middle of the quarantine, unsure of where I could go, but aware that I no longer could tolerate this sort of behavior and absolutely cannot be quarantined in this environment, especially when I am reeling from the shock of what had happened with my now ex.

I left. It’s taken me 29 years to say no more. But I have.

I also have done something big. I’ve shared my story publicly. For years the cycle has been trauma, remorse, forgiveness, repeat. But when I shared a poem on social media about the physical and verbal abuse I lived through as a child- and the experience I went through at 29- it was freedom.

My extended family is supportive, and I have a place to stay temporarily until I move to school. I told my mother when I left that she will never hurt me again, and I mean it.


I would love to hear your break up stories!

[Turkish]

I also have done something big. I’ve shared my story publicly. For years the cycle has been trauma, remorse, forgiveness, repeat. But when I shared a poem on social media about the physical and verbal abuse I lived through as a child- and the experience I went through at 29- it was freedom.

This is indeed very big and I'm glad you had the courage to do so and also that you reached out to us here 

I likely saved my mother's life three winters ago and brought her to live with me and my two little kids. It went ok at first, and maybe I didn't do everything right, but I had to take her back by spring to her hoard home after she was making accusations of criminal elder abuse, getting in my face, threatening me with a lawyer. When she started accusing my kids, that was it.  She demanded to be taken back though and I had no choice. LC (veey) after that. I even got a call from a sheriffs deputy 120 miles away when she accused me of stealing her purse. She actually forgot it here. I shipped the contents back. She ended up under County Conservatorship because I no longer wanted anything to deal with it legally though I'm only next of kin.  That's my story in short.

I'm glad that you have a place to live and be safe, especially in these challenging times. What are you next steps?