drive by stalking

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Hi, All - -

I won't rehash my whole story but as you know I dated a bpd woman I worked with and eventually got let go because her stalking/harassing behavior was wearing me down and I kept going to management about it only for them to get fed up and let me go (They didn't want a lawsuit).

At first I was irate and very lucky I didn't do something stupid that would have put me in jail. I dealt with her BS for close to a year. So about 2 and half months go by after I got let go. I had already landed another job and was trying my best to focus on that. Hadn't heard from her in that time. I did later discover that one of my new co-workers got a strange linkedin message from a woman who immediately blocked him when he asked her why she was contacting him. I suspect she was behind that. Also, one of her friends from work just randomly sent me a text in late March asking how I was doing. I was like "dude, how can you reach out to me and ask how I'm doing after everything that woman put me through? Do you not see what happened to me for what it was?" He played dumb and acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. "How?" I thought. Everyone in the office new about this drama between her and I.

Fast forward to about  2 weeks ago I leave my apartment around 9PM on a Monday to go across the street and get some snacks from this convenience store that is across the street from my apartment.

No sooner do I cross the street and I see a car that looks similar to the one of the guy she slept with at my job after I broke up with her to try and hurt me. This guy eventually lost his job  too, about 2 months before I did. No one knew about him and her, his firing was performance related. But anyways, I see this car and it looks like she's in the passengers seat with him driving. At first, I thought I was seeing things and actually chalked it up to my imagination.

Then two days later the same thing happened. I left my apartment around 830-9 PM to walk across the street and see them drive right by me. It was absolutely them. They timed it so I would see them drive by. This means that they were just waiting outside for me to come out. I can't tell you how badly that creeps me out. I mean it makes the hair on my arms stand up.

I absolutely hate this woman at this point. Why in the hell is she still doing this? She has me blocked on social media, because I ripped her a-part after I got fired. Tried to ruin her reputation the way she ruined mine at this job. She eventually blocked me. Who cares. But after these drive bys I checked and I'm still blocked.

I called the dude she was with and without threatening him, left him a voicemail basically saying I'd love to have him get out of the car and actually step up to me man to man. He then, of course, blocked my number.

These people are literally the lowest form of life I have ever encountered. Just absolute dirtbags. I actually reached out to a few people at this past job telling them what was going on, and none of them even acknowledged it. They just ignored me. It is unbelievable the way she has so many people fooled into thinking she is this harmless little victim. This is a woman who threatened to kill me while I was dating her and here I am a YEAR and 2 months later, after a 3 MONTH relationship, still dealing with this.

I still continue to wonder if she's actually going to try to kill me at some point. I would lash out at her and try to get some type of revenge on her or just do something that would let her know I %100 wanted her to leave me alone, but I know she would twist it and probably get me in trouble with the police if I did.

I have a restraining order form that my case manager sent me, but with my work schedule I haven't had the time to complete it yet and the court house hours are off due to the COVID situation.

All I can say is that I truly hate this woman. I wish she would just go away, but she won't. The fact that she still works at that company is mind boggling to me. I have no idea how she's pulling it off. She must be sleeping with someone in management.

The whole situation has left my brain absolutely fried.

[jinglebells1989]

Hi, All - -

I won't rehash my whole story but as you know I dated a bpd woman I worked with and eventually got let go because her stalking/harassing behavior was wearing me down and I kept going to management about it only for them to get fed up and let me go (They didn't want a lawsuit).

At first I was irate and very lucky I didn't do something stupid that would have put me in jail. I dealt with her BS for close to a year. So about 2 and half months go by after I got let go. I had already landed another job and was trying my best to focus on that. Hadn't heard from her in that time. I did later discover that one of my new co-workers got a strange linkedin message from a woman who immediately blocked him when he asked her why she was contacting him. I suspect she was behind that. Also, one of her friends from work just randomly sent me a text in late March asking how I was doing. I was like "dude, how can you reach out to me and ask how I'm doing after everything that woman put me through? Do you not see what happened to me for what it was?" He played dumb and acted like he didn't know what I was talking about. "How?" I thought. Everyone in the office new about this drama between her and I.

Fast forward to about  2 weeks ago I leave my apartment around 9PM on a Monday to go across the street and get some snacks from this convenience store that is across the street from my apartment.

No sooner do I cross the street and I see a car that looks similar to the one of the guy she slept with at my job after I broke up with her to try and hurt me. This guy eventually lost his job  too, about 2 months before I did. No one knew about him and her, his firing was performance related. But anyways, I see this car and it looks like she's in the passengers seat with him driving. At first, I thought I was seeing things and actually chalked it up to my imagination.

Then two days later the same thing happened. I left my apartment around 830-9 PM to walk across the street and see them drive right by me. It was absolutely them. They timed it so I would see them drive by. This means that they were just waiting outside for me to come out. I can't tell you how badly that creeps me out. I mean it makes the hair on my arms stand up.

I absolutely hate this woman at this point. Why in the hell is she still doing this? She has me blocked on social media, because I ripped her a-part after I got fired. Tried to ruin her reputation the way she ruined mine at this job. She eventually blocked me. Who cares. But after these drive bys I checked and I'm still blocked.

I called the dude she was with and without threatening him, left him a voicemail basically saying I'd love to have him get out of the car and actually step up to me man to man. He then, of course, blocked my number.

These people are literally the lowest form of life I have ever encountered. Just absolute dirtbags. I actually reached out to a few people at this past job telling them what was going on, and none of them even acknowledged it. They just ignored me. It is unbelievable the way she has so many people fooled into thinking she is this harmless little victim. This is a woman who threatened to kill me while I was dating her and here I am a YEAR and 2 months later, after a 3 MONTH relationship, still dealing with this.

I still continue to wonder if she's actually going to try to kill me at some point. I would lash out at her and try to get some type of revenge on her or just do something that would let her know I %100 wanted her to leave me alone, but I know she would twist it and probably get me in trouble with the police if I did.

I have a restraining order form that my case manager sent me, but with my work schedule I haven't had the time to complete it yet and the court house hours are off due to the COVID situation.

All I can say is that I truly hate this woman. I wish she would just go away, but she won't. The fact that she still works at that company is mind boggling to me. I have no idea how she's pulling it off. She must be sleeping with someone in management.

The whole situation has left my brain absolutely fried.

[Cromwell]

JingleBells,

I would lash out at her and try to get some type of revenge on her or just do something that would let her know I %100 wanted her to leave me alone, but I know she would twist it and probably get me in trouble with the police if I did.

I called the dude she was with and without threatening him, left him a voicemail basically saying I'd love to have him get out of the car and actually step up to me man to man. He then, of course, blocked my number.

What is there to twist? The law is just black and white, thepolice will not be emotionally involved in any of this.

JingleBells, what is going on - you are phoning up wanting to fight this guy, all he has done is drive his car down the street?

[jinglebells1989]

JingleBells,
What is there to twist? The law is just black and white, thepolice will not be emotionally involved in any of this.

JingleBells, what is going on - you are phoning up wanting to fight this guy, all he has done is drive his car down the street?

LOL never thought I get gaslighted on a support form for gaslighting.

I'm done with this site.

[PeteWitsend]

LOL never thought I get gaslighted on a support form for gaslighting.

I'm done with this site.

Chill out man. I think you have to be patient with this; you can't call/text this guy and threaten them, and for god's sakes, don't put it in writing!

They are TRYING to provoke you.  Do not let them provoke you.  

You're not going to get a lot of sympathy from anyone else here, acting like a hot-head.

Think this through and stay calm.  What difference does it make that they drove by?  They're on a public street, and they're abiding by the law.  

Before you get upset with me for saying that, look I GET IT.  They're creeping you out, and obviously they're a couple of losers with too much time on their hands.  I'm not trying to say they haven't done anything wrong.  Just be smart about this.  It sucks you have to take these steps to protect yourself, but at this point, that is what it is.  Bad luck on your part.

Take steps to make yourself harder to find;  How did she find your new job?  You have a linkedin profile.  Maybe delete it?  Or block her & her friends and family, make your profile not publicly searchable.  

If they keep showing up around your place... document this.  Take pictures and write down the times.  Take video if they get out of the car.  If they escalate things, call the police and file a report.  If it gets worse, consider getting an attorney, and letting them handle it?

Like Cromwell said,  "The law is just black and white, thepolice will not be emotionally involved in any of this."  Absent an objective record, the police are going to make a subjective decision of who is at fault.  And if you're putting threats to her new boyfriend in writing, it's more likely their subjective decision will be that you're at fault.  

Based on your account , you've been digging your own hole here: getting angry and fired from your job, attacking her on social media & getting blocked, texting him a threat and getting blocked.  Jeez man, when you're in a hole, stop digging.  

[jinglebells1989]

Chill out man. I think you have to be patient with this; you can't call/text this guy and threaten them, and for god's sakes, don't put it in writing!

They are TRYING to provoke you.  Do not let them provoke you.  

You're not going to get a lot of sympathy from anyone else here, acting like a hot-head.

Think this through and stay calm.  What difference does it make that they drove by?  They're on a public street, and they're abiding by the law.  

Before you get upset with me for saying that, look I GET IT.  They're creeping you out, and obviously they're a couple of losers with too much time on their hands.  I'm not trying to say they haven't done anything wrong.  Just be smart about this.  It sucks you have to take these steps to protect yourself, but at this point, that is what it is.  Bad luck on your part.

Take steps to make yourself harder to find;  How did she find your new job?  You have a linkedin profile.  Maybe delete it?  Or block her & her friends and family, make your profile not publicly searchable.  

If they keep showing up around your place... document this.  Take pictures and write down the times.  Take video if they get out of the car.  If they escalate things, call the police and file a report.  If it gets worse, consider getting an attorney, and letting them handle it?

Like Cromwell said,  "The law is just black and white, thepolice will not be emotionally involved in any of this."  Absent an objective record, the police are going to make a subjective decision of who is at fault.  And if you're putting threats to her new boyfriend in writing, it's more likely their subjective decision will be that you're at fault.  

Based on your account , you've been digging your own hole here: getting angry and fired from your job, attacking her on social media & getting blocked, texting him a threat and getting blocked.  Jeez man, when you're in a hole, stop digging.  

Yeah you're totally right bud. Had my car vandalized, followed around my neighborhood, police reports filed on me for PLEASE READ I didn't do. Should have just stayed calm. I mean who wouldn't have stayed calm right? Lol, done with this site. last post here. Mods delete my account.

[Cromwell]

How do you know you would not be playing into the dirt bags hands by losing your cool and they could get you in trouble? Do they know that you got a new job and have not been provoked into doing anything stupid?

Driving past you is near low risk to them, and anything from zero to high gain potential if it presses your buttons.

Of course I have not been calm through my own experience - ive also done stuff that could have gone wrong. It is a big reason why I detached from her. Anger and fantasy of revenge - its okay, I havent had to stand in a court room having to explain an assault, Affray, disorderly conduct or whatever and part of why I have stayed calm is not wanting her to enjoy her evil side. It might suit her to validate me as the "dirt bag", and what better way to have that as being found guilty at court and stigmatised as an aggressive, criminal thug?

Ive read plenty that pwBPD have put people through the court system, often vexatious complaints.

Its been a bit of a mess for you, youve bounced back from it - you have kept your calm in many other ways. If you are not coming back here just keep in mind that you have to protect yourself from these provocations and get the message across it is a waste of their time to try and intimidate. Defuse the drama not fuel it - I know how hard it is with their sleights and all the rest, but long term big picture, they are not worth you making your life more difficult falling for their trap.

JingleBells, Theyd be laughing their a$$ off at you ended up arrested and lost your job again? Right? Dont give them the chance for that twisted satisfaction. You are the one in control here.