Incarcerated fiancé, affair, break up

Hi so my fiancé was incarcerated for 15 months up until the 13 month everything was ok. Ive never once thought about or wanted another man and my fiancé and I were going to get married. We have 3 kids from other relationships also. my stepfather passed and I had a history of abuse from his son. within days of stepfather passing his son tells me he is in love with me and has been forever and i feel like i was put under a spell. I was also feeding a substance use problem and this person was my source. but i ended up breaking up with my fiancé after he begged for me to work and get help. I was completely unemotional i said things i would have never said 5 months before. I dont know what happened its like a fog and now since getting sober I realized i experienced my worst episode and i want my family back as i feel its unfair because my mental health and many more mitigating factors played into it. I take full responsibility for my actions but it just doesn't make sense why i would do that because i love my fiancé with every cell in my body. HELP



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