Please Help. She Discarded Me, Lied & Is Now Moving On

[Mergirl]

PLEASE HELP.

I was writing an apology tonight and not knowing what to say as I don't want to upset her or push her away more. But she threatened my life a couple of weeks ago before her suicide attempt and because I was so scared of her, I threatened her back. I think after she got out of the hopsital she was maybe coming back and I messed it up by scaring her back.

I just  happened to check the dating site we met on. She told me last week she wasn't replacing me and need to work on herself and heal etc after suicide attempt and getting out of the hospital, etc. She ghosted me again after getting out after calling me from the hospital and begging for my help and leading me to believe she didn't mean all the mean things she said and wanted to see me again. It seems that was all a lie.

She added new pics to her profile. Has not spoken to me in over a week now. She IS looking for someone else. She emphatically denied this last week.

I am gutted.

What do I do? Please help.

I want to send this apology. She doesn't miss me and apparently won't. Please, what do I do?

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[Mergirl]

No one reading the story of my last post because I know it's too long but it's so complicated to sum up.

But I should say, I don't know for sure if she has BPD. She has PTSD and othe health issues but I don't know. She does seem to have traits of BPD like Fliiping, blocking me, painting me black, false accusations, anger issues, etc. All of which she blames on me of course.