I am so sad today. I am an adult child survivor. My mother has BPD. It became crystal clear to me as I read the common traits and just finished reading a book on surviving as a child from having a parent with BPD. I can't believe how patterned her behavior is!
I am sorry to hear you had a sad day. Some days are like that. Some days are better. I'm glad you found our forum. We are a community of survivors, and since we all have a pwBPD, we "get it". Like you, I was shocked when I realized there were "other people in the world like my mom". It was a big relief for me to know that I was not alone. That my mom's behaviors were part of a "larger pattern" of something objectively identifiable that had a place in the DSM was remarkable.
Which book did you finish reading?
I desperately hope to find a support group to sort this out!
When the moment strikes you, perhaps you can share with us what you would like to "sort out"?

Until then, you will hopefully find a lot of stories on this forum that you can relate to in one way or another.
Welcome!