Sister with BPD, how do I stay empathetic and when is it ok to distance yourself

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hi guys,
I'm here because Im in need for some advice or support. I have a sister with BPD and for years now Im her main emotional support as all the other relationships in her life are turbulent and she blames them for everything. She downloads on me all the time with the same blames and accusations about people and will not take responsibility for bad reactions. I spend a lot of time on the phone just listening to it all but now I am at the point I can't just sit there at take it on board. When I try and say something she abuses me.

Aside to this she is abusive, physically and verbally and I do not want to see her in person as I am actually scared for my safety at times, in the past I have made mistakes of not implementing boundaries but now I have had to since I have had a baby. Most days I can remain empathetic and truely listen to her downloads on the phone but as of late I can not stand it and its weighing on my own mental health, I dont know what I should do now, as she constantly says that she should just end her life - and I feel the responsibility of being there for her as an only sibling.

I really feel for people with BPD and for their families. It has been so hard for ours and at times brought alot of shame and very difficult to talk about to friends & family. But Im in the process of trying to lift that and be more accepting - but i'd like to hear from anyone else that has perhaps been through this or similar.

Thankyou so much

[Dahlia_fields]

Hi guys,
I'm here because Im in need for some advice or support. I have a sister with BPD and for years now Im her main emotional support as all the other relationships in her life are turbulent and she blames them for everything. She downloads on me all the time with the same blames and accusations about people and will not take responsibility for bad reactions. I spend a lot of time on the phone just listening to it all but now I am at the point I can't just sit there at take it on board. When I try and say something she abuses me.

Aside to this she is abusive, physically and verbally and I do not want to see her in person as I am actually scared for my safety at times, in the past I have made mistakes of not implementing boundaries but now I have had to since I have had a baby. Most days I can remain empathetic and truely listen to her downloads on the phone but as of late I can not stand it and its weighing on my own mental health, I dont know what I should do now, as she constantly says that she should just end her life - and I feel the responsibility of being there for her as an only sibling.

I really feel for people with BPD and for their families. It has been so hard for ours and at times brought alot of shame and very difficult to talk about to friends & family. But Im in the process of trying to lift that and be more accepting - but i'd like to hear from anyone else that has perhaps been through this or similar.

Thankyou so much

[Kwamina]

Hi Dahlia_fields

BPD is a very challenging disorder. Sadly, certain people with this disorder indeed exhibit suicidal tendencies.

Quite some time has passed since you made this post, how is the situation with your sister now? Is she still making comments about ending her life?

She is your sister, yet it is clear that her behavior is abusive on various levels, including a threat to your physical safety.

Your own well-being is definitely the main priority, especially now that you have a baby, it is crucial to set and enforce/defend boundaries with your sister. This to protect yourself and your family.

But since she's your sister, I also understand your concerns for her well-being, particularly considering her suicidal tendencies. Has your sister ever gotten any kind of targeted treatment for her issues? Has she ever gotten any kind of professional help?

Take care

The Board Parrot