Hi!
Can you tell us more about your wife's behavior and how you have, in your words, appeased her? We have a lot of members who have done that and then when they come here, we help them turn things around. appeasing anyone generally does not work long term though it can seem helpful short term.
Your kids are, to a great extent, going to follow your lead in terms of how they deal with mom. As the healthier parent it will fall on you to teach them better ways of reacting and responding, mostly by demonstrating it to them. What do you do now to help your kids?
As you share more, we can be more specific. In the meantime, I hope you get comfortable and stick around and read and post. We have a lot of great information on the site and some specific things for bettering a relationship tacked to the top of this board.
Talk with you soon.
