hi Magpie15, and
How do I communicate with her sincerely but also take things less personally
this is the million dollar question, huh
understanding is the way ive found to take things less personally. if im able to focus more on where the other person is coming from, and less on where i am, then im less inclined to defend myself.
people with bpd traits are highly sensitive.
it can, frankly, be perceived as invalidating if shes blowing up, and youre being super calm.
thats not to say you should necessarily react strongly.
its that shes telling you what she feels she needs is for someone to experience, to a point, the pain shes going through. perhaps to normalize it, and make her feel connected.
if you think about it, weve all been there, where a person isnt reacting as strongly as we think they ought to be, and that tends to heighten our emotions. people with bpd traits do this more regularly.
can you give us a recent example of how things played out between the two of you? we can help walk you through it.
