Hi Splitblack4good,
...she met a guy and she been spending time with him overnight she went from talking to me regular to ignoring me and being short with me I found out that she is seeing this new guy but as soon as I asked her about it she told me he’s just a friend and nothing is going on even though her pictures on Facebook say otherwise.
My understanding of people with borderline personality disorder (pwBPD) is that when they are involved in an intimate relationship with a favorite person (FP), the level of intimacy they experience can trigger all sorts of abandonment fears in them.
One of the ways they seem to deal with this disordered (and sometimes imagined) fear of abandonment is they alternate FPs. The way it works as I imagine it, is as they are getting too close to FP1 (her current interest), and in order to avoid this imagined potential abandonment, they *abandon* FP1 first and attach themselves to someone else; maybe someone new, maybe someone old, this becomes favorite person 2 (FP2). And for that instant, they've alleviated their fear of abandonment with FP1.
But... this means that FP2 is now the new (or renewed) source of potential abandonment. So as I see it, when you become FP2 (for a limited time) she cannot give you any reason to "abandon" her. And from her perspective, if you were to think that you were not her current favorite person, that might be a reason (in her mind) for you to "abandon" her -- even though, from your perspective, you are not even together.
In the last few days she has been really nasty towards me insulting me over nothing telling me I’m a bad dad etc it’s like she doesn’t want me to think she is seeing someone what I don’t understand is why she is doing this ? It’s not like we were together or anything and we discussed it now she has blocked me from messaging her even about our son any views ?
From your perspective, you guys aren't "together or anything." But from her perspective, if you are her current FP then the usual BPD behaviors with you kicks back in (like before). And so during this time, she's going to be splitting you black (again). And she needs to deal with her disordered feelings towards you (by dumping on you) until she can't handle it anymore and so she needs to abandon you before (in her mind) you can abandon her. And so she blocked (abandoned) you.
I forgot to add I asked her why she was being like this towards me and her reply was “have you thought it’s because of you I’m being like this “ again I have racked my brain trying to figure out what I had done to make her this way towards me and come up with nothing.
There is some truth to what she said. It *is* "because of you" that she is being the way she is being. Rather it is because of how she feels about you (when you are her current FP) that she acts out her BPD behaviors. Eventually, sooner or later, you will no longer be the current FP and then she can act more politely towards you. But sooner or later, she's probably going to recycle you again when her BPD feelings becomes too much for her to handle with her other FP.
Anyway that's how I see it. I hope this is helpful to you in some way.
Best wishes,
Schwing