Ozzie, I appreciate the link and I am sorry that things took a turn for the worse in your marriage. That link on a relationship was quite the read. I don't know if I am strong enough to be that person. I do know I could be in a friendship. He has started DBT therapy and really wants to make this relationship work.
Once Removed- thank you also for your reply. The things I like about him. First, we have similar political views and outlooks on life. He is kind, compassionate, smart, funny, and very creative. He is actually an accomplished writer- has published books and hundreds of short stories published in different journals/publications. I don't want to mention the details to protect his privacy. We enjoy talking to each other. Have been speaking daily for the past few months and meeting on zoom to talk and watch different shows/movies.
I met him on a dating site. Of course, I had no idea of bpd. His profile emphasized his profession and his kind, caring nature.
Unfortunately, I have seen the other side when I was wanting to leave. I know that wasn't him talking, so I didn't take it personally. I knew it was the illness.
Somehow, we got back to talking. I am in therapy myself for ptsd and anxiety, but I consider myself well grounded. Have told my therapist all about him and she thinks that I am setting appropriate boundaries while being aware that if I decide to continue there will be a roller coaster ride.
I just like him and find it easy to be with him. I think you can tell a lot on zoom, but I will have to meet him in person before making any decisions to continue.
He has added a lot of happiness to my life during these days. COVID here- we are still at "stay at home orders."
I have many friends as support. I worry that he doesn't have much family left and few friends.
I worry that he relies on me. I make it clear when I have other groups and things to do with friends. He knows that I have these many other people in my life. Today , he said that I spent the day doing very healthy things ( reading, catching up with a friend, meditating) while he did not...
I told him that he could start doing these things. He agreed.
I don't want to be the sole support. But I know myself- I will feel awful abandoning him.
I do know that I would be completely happy to be his friend. But honestly, the bpd scares me...
I am currently reading Marsha Linehan's memoir.
Sorry... didn't mean to be so long winded.
I really, truly like him, but I am scared too.
I hope he can get the bpd under control with therapy... I like him. The bpd scares me.
Thank you for reading if you made it this far.
