SnapDragon11
 Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Unknown
Posts: 8
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« on: June 15, 2020, 03:46:14 PM » |
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The worst part of loving someone with BPD (and likely NPD) is riding this rollercoster of emotion. They love you, they hate you, they care, they don't. You're the best, the worst. Two weeks and three days ago, my partner and I were happy together, dating for over four years, sharing a place for over a year, in a legal domestic partnership. He acknowledged that he knew he was a difficult person to be with romantically and thanked me for hanging in through times he was unsure about the relationship, or was explosive, or unkind. He was very happy with our life. I was wonderful. He saw and appreciated all the things I did for us and our pets and home. He talked about our future and adventures he day dreamed about us having. A day later, he got upset while drinking, broke up with me and wanted me out of our place by the next day. I was suddenly a terrible person; controlling, manipulative, crazy, treated people "like crap". He felt unsafe around me. I moved out to a property I own, which is without a livable structure, or water, or a bathroom. Basically a tent and my car in the woods, with all my pets. I was bombarded via text about how terrible I am. I don't respond to these messages anymore and try not to read them, but from the glimpses I caught, it was clear that I'm a real piece of s***. Then, a few days later, the love bombing. I'm the best, he's got problems, he will (FINALLY) go to therapy to deal with his reactions to things, and his anxiety, and drinking habits. He will go to couples counseling with me. He realizes all he has done wrong. He's miserable. I go to talk with him and he is very self aware and we hash out a lot. Over the next few days, we talk about therapy, even to the level of discussing DBT and how it could help him as well as different couples counseling options that may be good for us. He is in 100%. Watch out world! He's fully committed, stating this is not like past experiences where he then backed out. This is DIFFERENT! He is slightly annoyed that I even question his accountability. He wants me to move back in. I stay over a few times. Two days later, I ask to talk again, to discuss the logistics of making the appointments. Suddenly he is not sure about going. Since I am the one who "makes" him so angry, it must be me with the problem. He only treats me badly at times because I cause him to. I should be the one to go to therapy. He's not going. Actually, now that he has had time to think, maybe he doesn't want to be with me...or in a relationship at all... I am relegated to the couch. I leave the following day. Back to the woods. To the tent. Now he is distant, dispassionate, hesitant to actually break it off, but not seeming interested in making plans or talking, or going to therapy. He is focused more than ever on video games, golf and drinking at home. The hot and cold has settled out to grey ash. A goodbye peck with blank eyes. So now, I am waiting, in a tent, for him to choose his next move, while I contemplate the joys of indoor plumbing and having a home you don't get kicked out of.
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