MIL and Hoarding New Member

[Waffles]

This is my first post. I've been a lurker off and on for years here. My MIL is a diagnosed text book BPD waif/hermit who has factitious disorder and is a hoarder.

My MIL fell in April and wasn't found until 3 days later. She's currently in rehab learning to walk again. The neighbor who found her alerted us to the extent of her hoarding. My husband and his siblings flew to her state and are cleaning out her home with her knowledge and consent. Her desire is to move back home and also to spend down her money to get back on Medicaid.

We've already run into a few problems. While she wants to be on Medicaid she doesn't want to spend her money. Her home needs several repairs. Her children will need to be reimbursed for the dumpster etc. She asked one child to call a family member and explain what's going on with her. He did as she asked and she chewed him out for it.

I'm just wondering if any of you have had a similar experience and how it turned out? Even though they're planning on making the house safe and homey I can see her becoming enraged when she sees it. What are your thoughts?

[Harri]

Hi Waffles and welcome out of lurker mode!

Is she still in rehab?

Unfortunately, if she is still considered to be competent, I am not sure there is much you can do in terms of intervention for her.  If she is a danger to herself, perhaps (thinking of the hoarding here, though I think it has to be pretty bad). 

Have you talked with Elder Services in her area?  They really are the best place to start in terms of getting advice. 

[Kwamina]

Hi Waffles

Joining Harri in welcoming you to our online community

Quite concerning that your mother-in-law fell and wasn't found until three days later. She is now in rehab learning to walk again. Does she have a positive prognosis? I hope she makes a speedy recovery

Unfortunately, she also has other issues. BPD is quite a challenging disorder indeed. You mention her being diagnosed, when did that happen?

How do your husband and his siblings feel about your MIL's behavior?

The Board Parrot

PS. Good to see you come out of Lurk Mode. I will be remaining in Parrot Mode though! 

[Panda39]

Hi 

I wanted to join the others and say welcome.

My thought was reach out to the Rehab facility see if they have a Case Manager or Social Worker working with your mom,  explain your safety concerns, cleanliness, fall risk etc.  They maybe able to set up some psych visits regarding the hoarding (that might help with some of her other issues) and some home care visits to assist with her recovery from the fall.

Panda39