I occasionally still beat myself up for having suppressed all the red flags and not getting out earlier when I had the chance. Four times I could have but didn't.
Hey Rev, Give yourself a break! Who knew about red flags
? You did the best you could under the circumstances. BPD is an incredibly complex disorder. When I finally learned that my Ex suffered from BPD, after years of swinging in the dark, I had the hubris to think that because I'm smart I could crack the BPD Code. I finally had to throw in the towel, as BPD proved too much for me.
So in this next year, I look forward to embracing who it is that I am - free of her professional jealousy and narcissism.
I second your plan for year two. Get back to who you are at your core. Listen to your gut feelings. Make your life a journey towards authenticity. Nietzsche said, "Become who you are!" I find that sage advice.
LJ