19 year old daughter left home

[Krisz]

I am looking for support. I’ve been trying to cope alone for a few years but the situation with my daughter has escalated and  I called 911 after she locked herself in the bathroom with a razorlike beauty tool. She was taken and the police allowed a voluntary Baker Act. She was discharged from hospital that same evening. She never came back how and is so angry at me and said what I did was unforgivable. Her dad (my x) spoke with her and she wants nothing to do with me. I am just lost. Her reasoning makes no sense, her memories of her childhood are inaccurate and the m really not sure what to do anymore. She’s been gone 2 weeks and didn’t call or text until today. Her message was angry and she says I’ve made her life hell. I just don’t get it. I’ve given this kid everything and I’ve done e erythropoietin for for her. Never enough and I’m the target of all her rage.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Mutt]

Hi Krisz,

I’m sorry that you’re going through. That’s a tough situation to be in that has to be heartbreaking to try to reach out for her help for your D19 and she’s on a warpath.

Can you recall another time that she was disproportionately angry like this?

How long did the dysregulation last for?

[Swimmy55]

Hi Krisz,
I echo what Mutt has said.  I'd also  like to offer that a few of us here have raging , out of control adult kids.  Know that you saved her life , even though she may not recognize that.  Have confidence in what you did as that event could have ended terribly. 

One thing that helps me is affirming" what other people think of me is none of my business"  especially my BPD adult child.  It is painful that this is their reality, but we don't have to be defined by their reality.  I know the hurt and disbelief , but if you can try not to take it personally ( much easier said than done). Some tools that help me are :1. reading about BPD. 2. My own therapy. 3. Going to a 12 Step support group like Alanon, CODa ( do dependent's anonymous) or Nar anon .  These are free and they teach principles such as detaching with love and putting the focus back on us. 
Keep writing back.