15 year old daughter

[Jhgch]

I have two children.  My youngest who is 15 has always been challenging and “passionate.”    Her behavior is becoming increasingly worse and challenging our whole family. She knows there is something happening and shared a TikTok video with me about BPD and said “this sounds just like me.”  So I started reading...and she is absolutely right.   This is both comforting and scary.  It’s nice to know what could be making her life more challenging than necessary.  It’s scary as heck to read  how this could escalate further and won’t be outgrown with age. Still n Ed to find a good, knowledgeable therapist.  I feel so lost.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Hi and Welcome
The good news is she is still a minor child .  The second is that you are looking for therapists for her now.  You are on the right track with her.
Now for you. Having a child with mental illness/ BPD can be isolating, but you have us here.  I am glad you found us.  take a look around here and read some of the suggested books in the" Library "here.  Read up as much as you can.  One popular book is Stop walking on Eggshells.  The first thing you will learn is you have to take care of you.  That includes building up your own supports which includes this group, maybe your own therapy and some of us also join 12 step programs for family members( alanon, etc) to learn how to keep the focus on us.
 Write back as you are able.

[Swimmy55]

I'd also like to add to feel free to click onto any of our names in this forum.  It will allow you to see our previous posts and learn more about each of our back stories. There are all sorts here.  You may see here that not all BPD gets worse as time goes on.  Each person, each case is unique. 

[Huat]

Hello Jhgch

I join Swimmy55 in welcoming you and echo all that she has written.

To have your daughter tell you to watch that video and then say "this sounds just like me"...is encouraging.  So many of us here never have our child admit that they have a problem...never even get an official diagnosis.

Scary?  You bet!  With that said, seems you are already heading in the right direction...arming yourself with knowledge...seeking out help.

Finding this community was indeed life changing for me as I learned how to better deal with my daughter and her BPD behaviours...and learned how to look after me.  I wish the same for you.

Huat

[Yepanotherone]

Hello there, welcome to the forum
Firstly I’d like to say my daughter also self diagnosed herself at 15. On her very first hospital admission, she told the mental health officer “ I think I have either bipolar or BPD. Probably more BPD”. The mental health officer said “ there there dear, don’t be so hard on yourself l, you’re probably just feeling a little down”. Fast forward 2 years and she did indeed have a diagnosis of BPD. Fast forward another 3 years, my daughter is 20 now and definitely still has many of the BPD traits and she still acknowledges her challenges. She is doing so much better now though. I’m not going to lie, things got really bad and we went through hell with my daughter ( you can read through my previous posts here )  she definitely went from bad to worse for 2.5 years, but I truelly believe that her insight and acknowledgment that she hasbBPD was in part what helped her to recover. 
I would say that age and maturity has also helped; she likely burned herself out with all the craziness of her teen years!
She’ll likely always have difficulties, but she’s also now leading a pretty normal, stable life . There IS hope. I just wanted you to know that