Not sure how to cope, frequently our relation goes into violent phases.

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi

I am married for more than 2.5 years. I came to know about my wife BPD last year april. Prior to that we tried for marriage counselling which did not worked well. Since more than 1 year my wife is taking medicines, but that did not helped much. Now she has stopped taking it. My psychiatrist says that she is not ready for therapy yet. very frequently our relation goes into violent phases. Some friends are advicing me that it is too much and should try to get out of it. I am cut off from my other family members and close friends because of this phase of life. Kindly provide me your opinion

Thank you

[prad]

Hi

I am married for more than 2.5 years. I came to know about my wife BPD last year april. Prior to that we tried for marriage counselling which did not worked well. Since more than 1 year my wife is taking medicines, but that did not helped much. Now she has stopped taking it. My psychiatrist says that she is not ready for therapy yet. very frequently our relation goes into violent phases. Some friends are advicing me that it is too much and should try to get out of it. I am cut off from my other family members and close friends because of this phase of life. Kindly provide me your opinion

Thank you

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Harri]

Hi Prad and welcome. 

I moved your thread here to the bettering board because you mentioned that you are still with her and that there is violence in the relationship.  We have tools and strategies that we talk about here that can be more beneficial to you and your situation while deciding what you want to do.  Even if you decide to end the relationship, the tools will help when negotiating.

So anyway, welcome though I am sorry for what brings you here.  Can you tell us more about the violence?  Are you safe now?  What most often triggers an event?  Are you able to talk with her after?  You said you are cut off from other family members.  Is that something you can change?  Having support and getting the violence out in the open with trusted people is important.  Have you thought about talking to a domestic violence counselor?

Sorry for all the questions.  I am trying to get a better feel for your situation so we can help you better.     I don't want to suggest things that may not apply.

I hope you post more soon.  In the meantime, I am going to link you to some of the best articles to begin reading.  How to get the most out of this site.

Again,