Im too often afraid I have BPD like my mom

[jmellow]

I am a female. My mother is BPD with NPD too.

I think sometimes I have these predispositions.

I worry all the time.

My mother and I fought a lot. She kicked me out of the house when I was eighteen.

[Turkish]

Hi jmellow



At the risk of showing poor form in asking a woman her age, how long ago was 18? Do you currently have contact with your mom?

I moved out on my 18th birthday,  having graduated high school at 17, but my mom told me I had no legal rights and hinted that she'd turn me in if I tried to leave at 17. Longest. Summer. Ever.

How did she kick you out?

[Harri]

Hi and welcome!   

Do you worry about a certain thing(s) or is it more general anxiety?

I can relate to worrying and I can relate to feeling like I had/have some of the same behaviors.  It is common to learn some of the behaviors and coping strategies of our parents.  We often did not have a good example and most kids learn through observation.  You are not alone in this.

Anyway, share more when you are up to it.  We can help. 

[Methuen]

I think sometimes I have these predispositions.

Welcome to the club.  I’m guessing most of us on this forum have either gone thru this stage, or are still going through it.

But think about it:
1) you have awareness to consider and think about bpd dispositions
2) you have sought out and found information about bpd, including support from this forum

Has your mom done either of these things?  Is she capable of being aware of her own faults, or ever sought information, or put effort into growing to be a better person?

You are not your mom.

I’ve analyzed myself to pieces because I don’t want my mom’s traits.  I’ve looked for it in my kids too.  I pretty well convinced myself one of them had these traits - then later I realized there was no way.  I had just been catastrophizing and looking for the worst case scenario again.

Don’t do that to yourself.  Just work on being the best person you can be.