seeing my mum cry makes me cringe

[TeaWithMilk]

i've read many differennt variations on this idea on social media posts, but it goes along the lines of:
"seeing your mother cry is the saddest most painful thing in the world"

but whenever my mum cries I don't feel particularly sympathetic or caring, I just feel uncomfortable.
maybe this is because I've seen her use crying as a manipulative tool so often, but I just cringe so much whenever she cries, it makes me feel truly and deeply uncomfortable.

does anyone have this kind of experience?

[Methuen]

Yes.  Although not so much recently,  it was very awkward to hear her sobbing in the back seat of the van, during a 6 hour road trip where we were driving our 14 and 16 year old kids to a tournament some years ago.  She started sobbing about the 3 hr mark.  That’s just one example.  Yes, lots of awkwardness. The best word to describe that was pathetic.    It always seemed to be attention getting, but I suppose some of those cries were genuine, but how to know?  Also, when it happens frequently it gets tiresome, especially if she also refuses to see a Dr for help.  One day after too much of this I put her in the car and just drove to the Dr office without telling her where we were going. Thankfully she went along with it.  But the crying got so bad that if she refused help I was going to lose my  .  She went on antidepressants for years, until she decided She didn’t need them anymore, and then the cycle started all over.   When it happens this often, I think it’s kind of natural to lose sensitivity to the crying, and instead feel “not this drama again”!  because they make us feel like its our job to respond to the crying to make them feel better.  Is that kind of what you mean?

[HappyChappy]

but whenever my mum cries I don't feel particularly sympathetic or caring, I just feel uncomfortable.
maybe this is because I've seen her use crying as a manipulative tool

Yep , same reason I don't always melt when she cries. Also this thing about being good to your mother only applies to someone who acted like a mother , with empathy and caring. When I see my mother cry over little things I think hypercrit, she use to beat us for crying "Boys don't cry" , I've not cried since I was 10 years old, wish I could now, people seem to think I'm bullet proof.

This addage of being a good person if you love your mom; Mafios people are always good to their mothers (Kray Twins), Jimmy Savil (prolific pedofile) was good to his mother, Dr Shipply Europes biggest serial killer was good to his mom. The movie Psyco etc...
 

[Methuen]

Wow, all great points Happy Chappy.  I think you just gave  many of us permission to not be required to feel sad when our mom cries. That’s quite a release.