Help me prepare for a "discussion"

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Probably wise to only focus on the remote/in person decision.  Is their a hybrid option (some of each)?

Shorter the better.  Definitely ask for more details on the poll.  Are you suspicious she is inflating her poll numbers? 

Best.

FF

[formflier]

Probably wise to only focus on the remote/in person decision.  Is their a hybrid option (some of each)?

Shorter the better.  Definitely ask for more details on the poll.  Are you suspicious she is inflating her poll numbers? 

Best.

FF

[Breakingfree9]

Probably wise to only focus on the remote/in person decision.  Is their a hybrid option (some of each)?

Shorter the better.  Definitely ask for more details on the poll.  Are you suspicious she is inflating her poll numbers? 

Best.

FF

The options are:
"In-person", which changes based on gating criteria from the county. Right now, with the current positive testing rate, school would open in a hybrid model (in person 2 days, remote 3 days).

-or-
100% remote learning for the entire semester.

Her poll numbers may be true, but she would only ask those who would confirm her bias. My experience is the uBPD removes the people in their lives who do not confirm their bias.

[livednlearned]

This is not really about the BPD piece but just covid decisions in general. I wish I could point to the article but it's slipped through my feed. In it, the researchers/scientists discussed decision-making based on number of cases of covid per 100K as a baseline for whether to be more or less conservative in the decision to do x, y, or z.

It could help with someone who does not handle control or authority well (e.g. BPD mom) because you focus on a non-personal piece of information (government, policy, science) to guide a decision.

For example, if cases in your county are x per 100K people then D16 proceeds with hybrid version since that's considered the safest ratio under current covid circumstances. If those numbers rise, then the other option.

Hopefully you can avoid being ensnared in a nasty legal battle (which seem to have some extra time-consuming contingencies like moving your state for filing, etc.) that keep you locked in a fight over what is essentially time sensitive (start of school).

you know your ex best and whether there are ways to appeal to her -- my ex's achilles heel was narcissism. Having third parties who were intelligent gave him some supply because he could associate with an expert while arguing with that person. Maybe you have someone in your county who could be your decision-maker so that you and D16 are not the prime targets?

[Breakingfree9]

She makes citations about "health officials", but provides no data to back them up.

I responded with actual data and trending analysis (some of it my own from public information...I'm a stat nerd and there wasn't baseball for months). Math is her Achilles heel and I don't mean that in jest. She's an emotional person and doesn't like data because data isn't emotional.

Anyway, I've considered all options and will go with remote learning.

She wants to have a recorded zoom meeting tonight. This is progress because she suggested the recording. I don't agree that D16 should be involved in the recorded zoom. That seems like a really bad idea thing for D16.

[formflier]

Anyway, I've considered all options and will go with remote learning.

 

Even though you are agreeing here...it's important to "nudge" her in the right direction of agreeing with you on important things too.

"Hey...can we compromise here.  Can we come together for the sake of our daughter and agree on leaving her out of adult decisions/discussions AND agree to remote schooling for the first semester.  Let's keep an eye on the data and make a decision about 2nd semester from there."

Something like that.

Thoughts?

OBTW...we are doing remote as well.  My state has had lower numbers (midwest) but they are trending up...I have large family and some members with respiratory stuff.

Best,

FF

[GaGrl]

I think you're on the right track here.

Our state is going back to either in-school or remote options, EXCEPT the county we live in. Our county school superintendent went against the state recommendations -- school doesn't start till Sept. 1 and will be remote until at least Nov. 1. Wow!

[livednlearned]

She wants to have a recorded zoom meeting tonight.

Everything go ok?