Some Good Things

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

First I want to thank everyone for the support and wise advice.

Next I just wanted to let everyone know that some good things are happening.  I have two good friend who have also had a rough time for their own reasons.  The three of us have been helping each other out by doing things together and being good to ourselves.

It's a good and healing thing

[BlueSpring]

First I want to thank everyone for the support and wise advice.

Next I just wanted to let everyone know that some good things are happening.  I have two good friend who have also had a rough time for their own reasons.  The three of us have been helping each other out by doing things together and being good to ourselves.

It's a good and healing thing

[Lucky Jim]

Great to hear, BlueSpring.  I think it helps to get things out in the light of day by sharing with others.  Things seem less frightening when one externalizes them, in my experience.  Plus, often you discover that your troubles are not unique.

LJ

[BlueSpring]

Hi LJ
It does help to get it out and to know we're not alone.  For awhile, she had me believing that it really was all my fault.  I was believing that she acted the way she did because I wasn't doing right by her.  But now that I see that many others have had the same experiences, I realize that it's just the way things go with a pwBPD. 

I know I over reacted to some of her behavior, but the things she says are really insulting, and she can cut you to the core.  What she did was lure me into confiding with her, and she saved all of those confidences in her memory to use against me later. 

But I've found out that she's doing the same thing with this new guy.  He's been living with her about a month, and they've already had some violent arguments.  He's knocked all of her stuff off of a shelf and threw a water bottle at her.  He's threatened to leave and go back where he came from.  They never dated.  They were communicating across country over social media.  She told me that they talked on the phone every day for hours.  That tells me that she has gathered confidential information about him as well.  And the first time he met her in person was when he moved in with her.  Wow, from and outsider's point of view, that's crazy stuff.  At least I dated her for six months before we became a couple.  I never moved in with her because the craziness began almost immediately after we became a couple. 

I hate to see someone else suffer in the grip of this, but knowing that this guy is getting the same treatment assures me that it wasn't all my fault.  It assures me that anyone falling into her circle of madness gets the same thing.

I'm feeling good today.  I feel like the past is going away, and a whole new future is in front of me.