Hello, i have been married for 6 years, and have been with my wife for just short of 10 years. My wife has a brain injury from when she was 7 in a serious car accident. Originally her moods, anger, etc weren't to bad, they were manageable. After our first child things got bad quickly, her state declined very rapidly she has always had social anxiety and has always communicated she thinks my parents hate her( which she blames me for), She suffered some baby blues, after #1 child, then she wanted another child, at the time i didn't feel it was good idea due to her struggles with one and her brain injury making her energy less then average. But after many discussions and persistence we both agreed another child was an acceptable move. child # 2 was born 18 months after the first both girls. This is when my wife slide even more, now i experienced her "rage", and it was getting more common over more "petty" things to me anyway. She showed severe depression after what we think was a mis carriage which was "down played" and dismissed by the MD( my wife now after much failure doesn't trust the medical system)
I need help with validating her? she rages at me that
" you are destroying our marriage "
"you won't get help for your ADHD, your lazy, get your head out of your ass"
" you always do this to me, you always set me up"
" i hate you
PLEASE READ you, i just want to end it"
Yesterday i accidentally weed wacked a vine ( young 1 of 6 ), just clipped it with the string, total accident i thought i was far enough out, she found out well ! she called me at work and lost it raged right out. She went into how i do this all the time, and i do this to her on purpose. Using all the above comments listed. This is all over text at this point. i feel like i am in a total catch 22. i can apologize and take responsibility but she just throws it in my face. Our fights turn into circular fights, i used to believe her when she told me i was the problem and causing the circular fights, i now realize and try to prevent fights, and particularly circular ones, what i have discovered is when she rages, she doesn't remember events completely or differently, as to suit her emotions. Like in the book "Stop walking on egg shells".
