No Contact

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

ello

I am writing looking for some advice or support.

I have been in therapy for ptsd and attachment trauma for about 4 years and still working on myself. I met a woman about 6 months ago and we became friends. As i knew her longer my feelings grew stronger and i have a strong emotional attachment. She says she we have a special connection but she sees me in the friendzone. I think she may have bpd as my mom does but i am not sure. more importantly i feel incredible addicted to her and i am working on no contact. I see her around and i dont want contact with her so i can detatch and move on to find someone who wants the same as me. i feel guilty for ignoring her but i feel its the only way to detatch. she has many male friends with emotional attatchments.

[silk1234]

ello

I am writing looking for some advice or support.

I have been in therapy for ptsd and attachment trauma for about 4 years and still working on myself. I met a woman about 6 months ago and we became friends. As i knew her longer my feelings grew stronger and i have a strong emotional attachment. She says she we have a special connection but she sees me in the friendzone. I think she may have bpd as my mom does but i am not sure. more importantly i feel incredible addicted to her and i am working on no contact. I see her around and i dont want contact with her so i can detatch and move on to find someone who wants the same as me. i feel guilty for ignoring her but i feel its the only way to detatch. she has many male friends with emotional attatchments.

[Rev]

ello

I am writing looking for some advice or support.

I have been in therapy for ptsd and attachment trauma for about 4 years and still working on myself. I met a woman about 6 months ago and we became friends. As i knew her longer my feelings grew stronger and i have a strong emotional attachment. She says she we have a special connection but she sees me in the friendzone. I think she may have bpd as my mom does but i am not sure. more importantly i feel incredible addicted to her and i am working on no contact. I see her around and i dont want contact with her so i can detatch and move on to find someone who wants the same as me. i feel guilty for ignoring her but i feel its the only way to detatch. she has many male friends with emotional attatchments.

Hello detach and welcome!

Sounds like you've got some good things on the go self-care wise. And you really seem to understand that you are needing to continue to seek support.

Always a good thing. 

You've asked for advice, but I don't see a question here per se?  Is there one that you want to ask in particular?

I have a couple that might help brings things into a clearer place.

Have you spoken to your therapist about this?  What advice have you gotten there?

Seems that she's been pretty clear that she sees you as a friend.  Is that correct?  Like there aren't any mixed messages that she's sending.

I'm not clear how her having a personality condition factors into your post. Maybe you could elaborate a little more?

Hang in there.  Sounds like you're being tested emotionally on this one. Maybe this has more to do with what you are hoping for yourself than her specifically.

Peace,

Rev

[FindingMe2011]

I have been in therapy for ptsd and attachment trauma for about 4 years and still working on myself.

Good for you. How has this been going? Do you feel as if youre making progress? I will work on myself till the day I die. This world changes every second. Gotta keep up.

. She says she we have a special connection but she sees me in the friendzone. I think she may have bpd as my mom does but i am not sure.

Whether your sure or not, is very insignificant and would only benefit her if she decides to seek help. Cluster B disorders can overlap, and the behavior you witnessed is all thats important. Im thinking my mother has heavy NPD/BPD traits. Good for you to see this.

more importantly i feel incredible addicted to her and i am working on no contact

This is awesome, that you are focusing on YOU...The chemical release in your brain is the same, as if you were coming off of drugs. So the addicted feeling is spot on...No contact will also be a process of ups and downs, where you will feel the urge, to get more drugs.

I see her around and i dont want contact with her so i can detatch and move on to find someone who wants the same as me.

This is the only way to detach, the addiction to the drug will tempt you. If you should falter. Get back up and start again.

i feel guilty for ignoring her but i feel its the only way to detatch.

This guilt feeling is YOURS, and something to discuss with T. Ending a r/s that is detrimental to your health, is your choice and any other should respect your decision, just as you would do for others. We may not like them but all, need to accept them

she has many male friends with emotional attatchments.

Sounds as if your assessment is also spot on. Your instincts are good, listen to them. So one less male friend should be nothing for her, she may/will find another, and her illness flourishes. Good for her, better for you. Its a win,win. I wish you well, Peace