Help please. After a year or so, it has all gone wrong again.

[Depression = 72% of members]

My sister has had mental ill health for many years.  I have been trying to support her for 40 plus years; I feel now at the end of my tether and never seem to learn.  I am not sure whether she has BPD, affective schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, a combination of these or what.  She certainly is an alcoholic, I think she has recovered but I may have been misled (duped).  I am at the end of my tether because I thought I had got her to a safe and happy place by helping her move from a terrible environment where she had been for over 12 years to a safe and nice home not far from me and my husband.  But after a year or so, it has all gone wrong again.  I suppose I have come here because I keep making the same mistakes in my reactions and responses; I try to ignore her abusive behaviour or I try to offer loving support but nothing helps.  I am now 65 and feel that I need a life of my own.  Thank you for listening.

[Beattie45]

My sister has had mental ill health for many years.  I have been trying to support her for 40 plus years; I feel now at the end of my tether and never seem to learn.  I am not sure whether she has BPD, affective schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, a combination of these or what.  She certainly is an alcoholic, I think she has recovered but I may have been misled (duped).  I am at the end of my tether because I thought I had got her to a safe and happy place by helping her move from a terrible environment where she had been for over 12 years to a safe and nice home not far from me and my husband.  But after a year or so, it has all gone wrong again.  I suppose I have come here because I keep making the same mistakes in my reactions and responses; I try to ignore her abusive behaviour or I try to offer loving support but nothing helps.  I am now 65 and feel that I need a life of my own.  Thank you for listening.

[Harri]

hi Beattie and welcome!

But after a year or so, it has all gone wrong again.  I suppose I have come here because I keep making the same mistakes in my reactions and responses; I try to ignore her abusive behaviour or I try to offer loving support but nothing helps.  I am now 65 and feel that I need a life of my own.  Thank you for listening.

What has gone wrong again?  Can you share some details with us? 

A lot of us have been in a similar boat so you are not alone.  As you read more here and share and interact with others, we can help you find a more centered place to be so you can manage whatever kind of relationship you may want with her.

I hope to hear more from you soon.