Here we go again

[Clown]

Hello,
It’s almost 10:30 pm here. I really don’t know what I’m doing on this site. My husband of 49 years had another episode tonight. He went to bed right after dinner, which he didn’t eat, and managed to cast a pall over the rest of us at the table.  There were other family members with us.

My question is, is there a difference between bpd and bipolar depression?  So many of the markers appear the same. He has been diagnosed with bipolar, been hospitalized several times over the years, and has been on every generation of medication since 1985.  

In spite of that, he has been able to hold down a job, even excel.  He has the terminal degree in his field and does stellar work.  Nothing else would suffice for him.

He is narcissistic, has a history of anger issues, and no memory of the many reasons we all understand walking on eggshells. He is also brilliant, witty, and can be kind.

Does his diagnosis matter if the treatment is the same?  Should his psychiatrist ask for input from me, or do I not matter in this whole scenario?  I have spent so much of my life trying to survive all this, and often I wonder whether I should have given up a long time ago.

Thank you

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[pursuingJoy]

You're welcome here, Clown. There is a lot of overlap between the two disorders. I know they share extreme mood swings. I don't know as much about bipolar, but I know it can be treated with medication, whereas borderline cannot. People with BP can have seasons between episodes where they are stable, and only have hair trigger responses during an episode, where pwBPD have hair trigger responses most of the time.

I've found the tools useful in all of my relationships. More than anything, it's helped to know that I'm not alone, there are others out there that love these brilliant, witty, sometimes difficult people and are having to find ways to cope. 

Have you asked to talk to the psychiatrist? I think that's pretty reasonable. If that doesn't pan out for whatever reason, are you open to looking for a therapist for you? Counseling has always made me feel supported.