Does anyone know of a zoom group (or similar) for family members of BPD's

[Hoathie]

Both of my parents exhibit borderline behavior. For the last few years I've been working independently, and with therapy when I can afford it, to heal from my relationships with them. I do alright with the support of friends, but I feel like I really need the support and structure of a group that meets regularly. I went to Al Anon and CODA meetings on and off for a while, but it was hard to make myself go to meetings long term. I really want to be in a group focused around healing for family/friends of BPD's. It's even harder to locate that sort of thing what with social distancing. So I'm wondering if anyone on here knows of a group that meets regularly over zoom or discord or something similar. I know there are countless 12-step groups that meet daily over zoom, but I can't find any support groups for this kind of thing. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. I'd also love to do group therapy online for this but I can't afford to pay for it right now. I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this.

[missing NC]

Hi Hoathie,

You might not have noticed my response to Milkstreet on the same question, so I'll repost it below and add an update and a clarification here:

***Clarification:  Moving Forward is more for support, whereas the Family Connections program through BPD is more for education and skill building.  BPD Global offers both.  There is a free intro, but I'm not sure if that has also moved online.  You can check their website.  The primary eduational and skills building component is the periodic Survival Skills workshop which is now offered online Friday evening and all day Saturday and all day Sunday. It is $300.  I am going to take it this weekend. If interested, I will let you know how it turns out. 

***Update:  The support meetings for graduates of Survival Skills through BPD Global are now online weekly (rather than monthly) and are now free (rather than $30). 

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Hi Milkstreet,

I know of three Zoom support groups for family member of individuals with BPD. There is a trade off between cost and wait time.  I will list them in order of soonest availability:

1.  BPD Global periodically offers a weekend-long Survival Skills workshop now via Zoom.  The next begins this Friday evening August 21.  They have monthly support group meetings for those who have completed the workshop.  There is a cost to keep the program running.
 See https://www.bpdglobal.com/programs/bpd-survival-skills-2/

2.  Moving Forward offers both an online discussion forum and twice weekly Zoom meetings on Thursdays and Saturdays.  There is no cost to participate.  The link for the forum on which the Zoom links are posted is https://groups.io/g/MovingForward

3.  NEA BPD offers their Family Connections Program via two-hour Zoom meetings for twelve weeks. There is no cost but the wait time is many months as demand outstrips instructors.  For details, see https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/family-connections/

Although they are not targeted specifically for BPD, NAMI also offers support groups, which are now virtual (see https://www.nami.org/Find-Your-Local-NAMI/Affiliate/Programs?classkey=a1x36000003TN9LAAW) and free training program for dealing, in general terms, with a family member with mental health issues.

Mclean Hospital offers some worthwhile webinars on DBT, validation and other topics pertaining to BPD. See https://www.mcleanhospital.org/borderline-personality-disorder-patient-and-family-education-initiative

The Sashbear Foundation also periodically offers webinars on BPD and includes some resources on their website:  https://sashbear.org/en/.

Take care!
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[curious quandary]

Missing NC, did you take the survival skills class? Would you recommend it? Did you learn anything that surprised you or changed the way you view BPD interactions?

[missing NC]

Hi curious quandary,

Yes, I took it this past weekend and found it very worthwhile. My situation is a bit different but given that you are in close contact with your mom, I think you would find the de-escalation techniques extremely beneficial. 

The two presenters' repeated question of "Do you want to be right or do you want to be effective?" really hit home for most of the participants.