I don’t know what to do

[ebobcat4]

My wife and I have been married for 16 years together for 21.  We have 3 kids ages 13 and 14.  When the kids were young she was overwhelmed by them and I wasn’t able to be there with her because I had to work.  She eventually went on Prozac that combined with alcohol got us through many years.  About 2 years ago she decided that she no longer wanted to be on Prozac it was rough on her digestive system.  I supported her on that.  The drinking continued and her attitude towards me went down hill.  I eventually gave her the choice to quit drinking or leave.  She did quite but the following 9 months were hell on me.  It was revenge.  I have a side business on our property doing car repair and I’ve been told several times that is my priority and I have never put her first in our relationship.  Anytime she has needed me I stop what I’m doing and go help her.  Most recently in December was overwhelmed when we got a horse.  She decided to call a doctor and went on celexal (I don’t think I spelled it correct). That got us up to April when COVID-19 started and things closed.  She was having a rough couple days and something at work in her parents business upset her.  She was yelling and crying that a driver wrote a note about a passenger not having a ticket that he is steeling from her.  The ambulance was called because neither her mother or I new what to do.  So now it seems to be revenge for that.  In her mind it was done to hurt her.  Over the last 5 months it seems to be getting worse about this subject when most people would be getting over it.  She is talking divorce and I’m also starting to think that.  I don’t want to do it but I feel there is no choice.  She has not been diagnosed with bdp but definitely fits in the high functioning category.  I’ve read the book stop walking on egg shells and I feel it fits me life well.  Is there hope for us or any recommendations.  Also she seems to be in a hurry to fix the marriage but everything I do is wrong.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[start_again]

Welcome to the site you are in a good place here.
Is your wife still drinking? 

[ebobcat4]

No she hasn’t had a drink for over a year.  I realized after she quit drinking that it wasn’t as much of a problem as not being on Prozac.  Things over the years weren’t great but it was okay.

[start_again]

I am glad to hear that alcohol is not part of the equations.   
Have read any of the articles posted?
This one is helpful for me:
https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationship