New to BPD and group

[Bewildered773]

Hi, I'm glad to have found this group and look forward to learning more. I have been trying to understand my boyfriend's behavior. I realized on the last couple of times he came over, he just went on and on, calling me names, teasing me, and berating me. He has always teased me, but lately it is just non-stop. The kicker is, he is saying that I'm doing to him exactly what he is doing to me. It's crazy-making. I remember someone telling me that an ex-boyfriend's ex-wife has BPD, and I sort of knew that this sort of berating is one of the signs. I'm not sure if he is or isn't, but his behavior is odd, and I wanted to compare notes with others.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pursuingJoy]

Hi Bewildered! Welcome 

Self esteem is a real challenge for pwBPD. Does he often tease and berate? Can you identify a link to a trigger, something else that's happened that might make him feel bad?

It sounds a little like he's projecting, too. Take a look at this article and tell me what you think:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=70931.0

[start_again]

Hello Bewildered and also welcome,
An adult calling someone names, teasing, and berating is to me a form of abuse and is unacceptable behavior.  I would suggest doing some reading on abuse.  The book The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans was of help to me.  The book was an eye opener...