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Author Topic: nicotine withdrawls. anger management  (Read 323 times)
Cromwell
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« on: September 10, 2020, 04:00:18 AM »

Studies have found that the most common negative feelings associated with quitting are feelings of anger, frustration, and irritability. These negative feelings peak within 1 week of quitting and may last 2 to 4 weeks (2).29 Oct 2010

So, day 8 of abnegation of cigarettes, thinking angry thoughts. Ready to book myself in for some anger management therapy, then I realise it is not about "her".

Its all about "me"

it is a post, a topic, about me and my success in overcoming and rejecting a known poison.

Hopefully I dont cross paths with her in the next 3 weeks and another issue squared away. I spent 3 years angry, I dont need anger management, I could give a class in it.

patience of a saint. un provocable. she is the size of a whale now. just a fat troll, now the size of a whale. from venom snake to Orca.

day by day, letting the poison out. its mine, it is real, 3 weeks to go, hardly something to get worked up about.
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dindin
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« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2020, 07:00:45 AM »

Don't have anything interesting to add, but wanted to say as a fellow smoker, good job! I know how tough it is. That's really something Smiling (click to insert in post)
« Last Edit: September 10, 2020, 07:09:35 AM by dindin » Logged
Cromwell
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« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2020, 08:12:34 AM »

Dindin, 3.5 hours later the adrenaline is near normal defcon levels again.

on with the day, a bit of unexpected chaos keeps the mind sharp now and again Smiling (click to insert in post)

thanks im grateful.
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Agshoe

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« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2020, 01:55:14 PM »

Finally stopped chain smoking after breakup with pwBPD, thanks to getting a cold.

Well done body for making me stop! Day 3 tomorrow, getting over the breakup is a touch easier without the fags adding to the anxiety.

Congrats on day...18 for you?  Being cool (click to insert in post)
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Cromwell
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« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2020, 03:30:32 PM »

Hey Agshoe

yep anxiety levels have very much come down noticeably.

im doing great, worst of the withdrawls over and they werent that bad. took some lozenges but the smallest mg (2) and spaced them out. in other words, let myself 'suffer' a bit, and also start the process to rewire that erroneous "I need" this substance at that "this exact" moment in time.

20 miles a day walking for a week really helped, thankfully had unusually nice weather. lots of citrus fruit drinks.

it is the longest time and im feeling fine, £180 saved is also nothing to scoff at, im low income college student who keeps walking out of his jobs, which is fine - as long as I can walk out and not worry about how to get money to pay for substance misuse. What im saving will help me not have to work next summer, I prefer that to smoking, its one push-factor positive. and yea, the anger is going but part of the secret is modifying life to reduce the chances of getting angry in the first place. (ie. "people) Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

pandemic has assisted a lot, can work from home, have a rest (not 'avoid' as such) the chance of hostilities. The only thing "gift" and I mean this to include, not even a birthday or christmas card. the only thing I ever got from my ex was 1 cigarette, when she stalked me and waited for me outside a shop in town after I went no contact for 4 weeks, literally pushed it into my hand.

ill stop there. thanks Agshoe was so nice of you to ask how im doing. rooting for you and everyone else going through it too.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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BuildingFromScratch
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« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2020, 04:11:44 PM »

When I feel angry, I punch my pillow, vent in my journal, exercise or do chores. It all really helps expel the energy so it doesn't build up.

Congrats on how far you've made it. I'm a smoker, I know how tough that stuff is.
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JNChell
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« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2020, 07:09:41 PM »

Nicotine is tough to shake. Consider our backgrounds and it’s that much harder to get rid of. No reason to go into that endless chapter. I’ve heard that nicotine addiction is worse than heroin. Just like these relationships. I use smokeless tobacco. I’ve quit several times, but I’m still doing it. It’s a habit. I often wonder if the action of doing it outweighs the actual chemical part of “needing” it. I meant to drop this video for you to consider on another thread, but that thread is no longer available. So here ya go. https://youtu.be/FU8IwII8hhc

We have our crutches, on your journey to leaving your crutch behind, don’t take it out on other people. Own it and overcome it.
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« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2020, 07:27:41 AM »

Nicotine is tough to shake. Consider our backgrounds and it’s that much harder to get rid of. No reason to go into that endless chapter. I’ve heard that nicotine addiction is worse than heroin. Just like these relationships. I use smokeless tobacco. I’ve quit several times, but I’m still doing it. It’s a habit. I often wonder if the action of doing it outweighs the actual chemical part of “needing” it. I meant to drop this video for you to consider on another thread, but that thread is no longer available. So here ya go. https://youtu.be/FU8IwII8hhc

We have our crutches, on your journey to leaving your crutch behind, don’t take it out on other people. Own it and overcome it.

I used smokeless tobacco for over 17 years and quit in 2015. Giving it up was hell, as there's a lot more nicotine in smokeless tobacco than there is in cigarettes. Now I just chew a lot of gum and drink a lot of coffee in place of the tobacco. I came within a hair of starting back again following the breakup with my uBPD ex-g/f in April, but I managed to stop myself each time I had the urge to buy more. Unfortunately, it's a lot easier to start back than it is to quit. I just kept telling myself that.
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Cromwell
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« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2020, 12:00:27 PM »

bought a packet after four weeks, but no big deal. finish the pack and back on lozenges, they were working. Not sure why but stopping from regular rolling tobacco was far easier than cigarettes, there is still some addictive compounds added to rolling but far less than cigarettes themselves.

JNChell I watched some 20mins of the video thanks, will finish it segment bite size.

very well done brighter future Doing the right thing (click to insert in post). think of the savings in 5 years, if that motivates. The biggest thing a friend of mine lamented he calculated how much estimated he spent on alcohol before he stopped and it went into house buying out-right territory. sobering thought, same for me with cigarettes, first month I have not had to struggle financially so that has programmed itself in as positive experience.
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JNChell
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« Reply #9 on: September 29, 2020, 05:26:34 PM »

The hardest part is the acute feelings of being wired and then feeling so tired that a person just wants to lay down for a nap. That’s where the aggressive stuff comes into play. I suppose that it’s just a matter of getting through that part. Two-three days. Then the self esteem is up for the first hurdle. It’s tough man. One always leads to another. From what I’ve gathered, it’s a conscious effort to never do it again. Just like other harmful things that we’ve partaken in. Christ, is there any relief?!?  Lol!
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Cromwell
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« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2020, 07:18:27 PM »

relief? drugs? worryingly in the Petersen backdrop (I agree with him here) life  being suffering, malevolent suffering. Addictions to drugs that provide a sense of relief, for so long as they have their effect. so strong it is near impossible not to, affects the wiring.

I dont know why they dont just patent and market that electronic implant that press a button and it stimulates the pleasure centre of the brain. no one would need or want such other habits. we could all just share the same addiction, repeated button pushing.

cant remember the name of that study but it is a few decades back if i recall, in other words, they know how this works, they also know that none of us will just press it once or twice and be content Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

if i recall self administering they had to stop the study for ethical reasons it got a bit out of hand.

bit disenchanted tho, to learn the attainment of happiness is all located in some region that just needs a a bit of a voltage jolt to it, thats it.

in the meantime, crutches ftw Smiling (click to insert in post)
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JNChell
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« Reply #11 on: September 29, 2020, 07:31:28 PM »

Sounds like self indulgence with a government mandate in the form of a button. It all comes down to choice brother. It’s amazing what is legal and what isn’t. On the flip side, that would be a very expensive button because it would cause a large amount of revenue to disappear. Alcohol, tobacco and many prescription drugs.

Don’t be disenchanted yet. That part of the brain is still open for better things, although it’s been on the back 40 for decades. There’s a fine line between hope and reality these days. It’s kind of depressing when logic shows up, but all is not lost yet. Barbarism is showing it’s ugly face, but we haven’t completely devolved.
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Cromwell
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« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2020, 03:51:56 PM »

It’s kind of depressing when logic shows up, but all is not lost yet. Barbarism is showing it’s ugly face, but we haven’t completely devolved.

maybe sometimes we need to take a step backward in order to take one forward.
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JNChell
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« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2020, 06:13:12 PM »

Hmm, I wonder how that would go. It’s on the fence.
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« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2020, 04:01:13 AM »

have you thought about chantix?

there are some immediate, and obvious concerns, like suicidal ideation.

the problem for me is, i like smoking, i like cigarettes. theres little desire to quit but for health reasons, which are significant to me. ive had limited (mostly on again off again) success with cutting down, switching to vaping, whatever.

ostensibly, chantix kills your desire to smoke. ive talked to a number of folks that used it. some told me they never had a craving again, killed the habit, never looked back (decades long smokers). ive talked to some that definitely did crave a cigarette again (decades long smokers). ive also talked to people that struggled with suicidal ideation, and it came up while on it.
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Cromwell
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« Reply #15 on: October 01, 2020, 07:50:27 AM »

I have tried it OR, an excellent medication, no ideation from me, it was like id never smoked a cigarette in my life or wanted to. just a shame that trying to get some and ensuring the supply to get to the point of freedom is a jump through hoops, nanny state, regulation of beauracracy, very expensive medication so they put you on close monitoring, have to go back for "consultations" and reviews. no thanks.

bupropion is another worth looking into imo.

OR hopefully the states has easier access, less red tape than my experience here or you are more 'patient compliant' type of guy. they may not consider that people actually have jobs of their own and other responsibilities and cant be at 2 places at once.

lozenges work great for me, have you tried.

first 3 days and the week itself, very weird physically, horrible. diazepam made the difference, if I had no benzos id likely have had some beers instead.
just have to make sure not to go down the somatic narcissist route OR, body is a temple etc, have you ever met any? part of me is scared with change in the, what new problem will I create next, sort of way. there is some insidious comfort with attachment to toxicity.  experienced very sensitive gums, painful, but it is due to increased blood flow returning it is pain but in a positive effect, transition to healthier mode of play. no problem, just chewed on a square of ginger, problem solved.

OR, this bpd experience just opened my eyes to some reality check. its a hostile environment out there, cant afford emotional kos that blind side. im prepared better, now fixing and sorting out other issues.

its worth it though, I know this is not a smoking cessation group but for anyone reading and thinking "what has this on earth to do with BPD relationship dynamics"

far more than quitting nicotine. idve done it years ago if at some point had not associated it with the relationship.
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« Reply #16 on: October 01, 2020, 08:09:04 AM »

very well done brighter future Doing the right thing (click to insert in post). think of the savings in 5 years, if that motivates. The biggest thing a friend of mine lamented he calculated how much estimated he spent on alcohol before he stopped and it went into house buying out-right territory. sobering thought, same for me with cigarettes, first month I have not had to struggle financially so that has programmed itself in as positive experience.

Thanks! When I quit, I quit cold turkey. I had been thinking about quitting for several months, as I want to be around as long as possible to watch my child grow up. My former boss and I had a chat one morning in February of 2015. He told me, "You need to throw that s##t in the trash can. I gave that stuff up two years ago, and if I can do it you can as well. You need to be around for that little girl you have." About two weeks later, I quit cold turkey. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't buy more tobacco when I finished the last can, and I made good on that promise. After about 4-6 weeks, the extreme cravings and insomnia subsided.  To this day, I still do miss it though!  Smiling (click to insert in post)  Now I chew a pack of gum per day and drink about 3/4 of a pot of coffee per day. hahaha
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Cromwell
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« Reply #17 on: October 01, 2020, 11:05:40 AM »

I cant start to imagine that determination and strong mind when it comes to cold turkey method, hat off to you. interesting what you say about 4-6 weeks, I heard somewhere a habit gets put in place by repetition over the space of 3 weeks. in other words, it is not just the withdrawl, it is the rituals - go past the shop and near automatically walk in. I hear many people across the UK stopped smoking during the lockdown by Covid. it has been far easier and a good chance to do it, less triggers to need willpower to fight against (friends who smoke at work etc).
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Cromwell
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« Reply #18 on: October 01, 2020, 11:58:22 AM »

I cant start to imagine that determination and strong mind when it comes to cold turkey method, hat off to you. interesting what you say about 4-6 weeks, I heard somewhere a habit gets put in place by repetition over the space of 3 weeks. in other words, it is not just the withdrawl, it is the rituals - go past the shop and near automatically walk in. I hear many people across the UK stopped smoking during the lockdown by Covid. it has been far easier and a good chance to do it, less triggers to need willpower to fight against (friends who smoke at work etc).

so it interests me that you just stopped that way, there is often focus on seeing addiction as a disease state, fix the biochemistry sort of thing, but other factors are important. psychology plays a role for sure, sounds like your former boss may have been a big influence?
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brighter future
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« Reply #19 on: October 01, 2020, 12:15:36 PM »

I cant start to imagine that determination and strong mind when it comes to cold turkey method, hat off to you. interesting what you say about 4-6 weeks, I heard somewhere a habit gets put in place by repetition over the space of 3 weeks. in other words, it is not just the withdrawl, it is the rituals - go past the shop and near automatically walk in. I hear many people across the UK stopped smoking during the lockdown by Covid. it has been far easier and a good chance to do it, less triggers to need willpower to fight against (friends who smoke at work etc).

I used far more tobacco when I was at work under stress and with other co-workers that had the same bad habit. Very few of my co-workers have quit since I did, so I'm around the stuff daily. The smell of it still gets to me when someone breaks open a can of it.

 I did not use much when I was at home, as I did not use tobacco when my child was around. Tobacco/nicotine was a crutch for me that soothed my nerves. It was very hard for me to fight off the cravings for it 5 years after I'd quit when my uBPD g/f and I broke up this past Spring. Between that and all of the Covid crap, it just about drove me crazy. I self-medicated with a little alcohol after the breakup, but never went overboard and just drank enough to take the edge off. It was becoming an almost daily thing for close to two months, so I cut that out before it became an every day thing going forward. I don' t think I've had anything to drink for a couple of months or so. Now if I could just get my ex-g/f completely off of my mind. I don't want her back her back but still miss her a lot some days. I removed her from social media months ago, but she's pinged me twice in as many weeks through two mutual friends' pages. Guess she's trying to get me to notice her again for a potential recycle. Who knows.  Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post)
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Cromwell
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« Reply #20 on: October 01, 2020, 01:21:52 PM »

BrighterFuture as a long term non smoker now several years- what are your thoughts, does it actually lower stress? im still as much stressed now then when I smoked, except I start to realise I can pay my bills and spend and save. I havent had to ask my parents for money for the first time in years. I also gave up trying to "prove a point" to those fickle people out there who would smoke when it is trendy, then stop because that is the new encouraged thing to do - then bring to me a lofty attitude of being "better". It also stopped me, I wanted to differentiate myself by holding on to that what made me different - a form of childish defiance Smiling (click to insert in post) i say because maybe point proving is/or isnt a good idea, but point proving at the expense of my health was really stupid, I had to recognise this as my own personality flaw. BPD-relationship link in here, staying around to point prove and invalidate, succeeding, then wondering "where is the prize"? for all that time, energy spent, cant get back.

live and learn right? Smiling (click to insert in post)
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JNChell
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« Reply #21 on: October 01, 2020, 05:24:19 PM »

I hope the quitting is getting easier as the days pass. I say good for you.
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