Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 28, 2024, 03:57:42 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Things we can't ignore
What Does it Take to Be in a Relationship
Why We Struggle in Our Relationships
Is Your Relationship Breaking Down?
Codependency and Codependent Relationships
93
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Any experience with in-patient intensive therapy? Any success?  (Read 353 times)
DS2020
**
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 57


« on: September 16, 2020, 10:03:01 AM »

My thread titled Very Sudden Crisis Part 1 and 2 lays out what has been happening. The first meeting with the attorney to work out the divorce and the interpersonal problems she is now having with her boyfriend is precipitating the breakdown that I had expected. She texted me telling me she was struggling and then called me saying that she needs to go inpatient somewhere for treatment. She is saying how she has made a mess of her life. Once a week counseling is not adequate for the amount of help she needs. I have started calling some places to see what is available.

My question for the group is whether anyone has had any success with these? They certainly include a lot of DBT and group therapies. I know every facility is different and the willingness of the pwBPD to take it seriously is obviously of vital importance, but in general, assuming a willingness, and a good facility, is there any likelihood of success or significant improvement?

Just hoping someone has some insight.

Thanks
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Naughty Nibbler
********
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Posts: 1727



« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2020, 03:22:06 PM »

DS2020:
I don't have personal experience to share, but I'll share some comments to perhaps prompt some thought on your part.  Perhaps, it might help to make a litte list or spreadsheet on the pros & cons for you.

If insurance is available to pay for in-patient, then it's a good opportunity. If you would personally have to contribute a substantial sum of money, then you would need to go into it with no expectation of success. Is she wanting to take advantage of some insurance use, before the marriage is dissolved?

She has a boyfriend.  You might want to examine your impulse to try and "fix" her.  Is there some hope that you could resume a relationship with her & cancel the divorce?


I think it's rather rare for anyone to go to an intensive in-patient situation and come out "cured" or remarkedly better, especially the first time.  As you mentioned, a person has to be motivated. Inpatient care can be helpful to get a diagnosis, a 2nd opinion and to perhaps pinpoint some meds that could be of long-term benefit. With a motivated person, it could be a good launch in a good direction, but a direction that needs to  be fostered.

Even with motivated individuals, it will never be a "one & done" situation.  Learning DBT, healthy management of emotions, ways to interact with emotional intelligence - takes constant practice and refreshing.

In-patient therapy could give a very motivated person a base to grow from.  I think that if someone goes through an intensive course in DBD, on an inpatient basis, they need on-going outpatient coaching, with real-life situations, to cement the strategy/logic.

For a motivated person, there are DBT books, and online worksheets to use. If an outpatient DBD class isn't available, where she lives, I believe there are some online courses.  Although, it's best to have a therapist who is experienced with BPD and DBT therapy, I would guess that most therapists would be able to help coach someone through some of the exercises and discuss.  The elements of BPD seem to relate to basic strategies that any psychologist would be exposed to during their training. (Certain elements are combined & packaged as DBT)

One thing to evaluate objectively is why hasn't her current therapy helped?:
1. Is the therapist suited for her and BPD issues?
2. Are therapy goals established?
3. Has she learned any DBT skills?
4. Has she learned to develop any coping skills to manage her emotions? i/e A personal list of things to do help manage her feelings when she is feeling angry, anxious, sad, etc.

There is no magic fix.  There needs to be motivation to keep working the issues. If meds. might help, then she should be evaluated for that.  If she is motivated now, then there could be multiple opportunities to consider.

Do a reality check with yourself?  Is this an attempt at a recycle? Is it in your best interest to get into "fixer" mode. Might you be setting yourself up for another round, only to end up with more legal fees down the road?

Anyway, just throwing out some things to consider.  If insurance and/or money for inpatient is an issue, then you need to look at alternatives. If you provide substantial cash, then it's a gift without any expectations.   
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!