Looking at if I should talk to BPD ex about reversing breakup

[dacf]

My ex and I split up for the nth time last year - we have a daughter together. Five years ago we separated and for the next 5 years we have been in a relationship according to her - but to me it always felt like there was something missing. We were living in separate houses after the split up 5 years ago, but we were pretty much a family while doing so. Eventually I used to stay there every weekend, we used to go on family trips, I used to finish work, spend time as a "family", put my daughter to bed and then chat with my ex and leave for my place. This took an incredible toll on me, emotionally and physically as emotionally I was never sure if we were actually in a relationship (as she did not want me to move back in) and physically as I used cook dinner, put daughter to bed, hang out with ex and eventually end up home at 11:30pm - all after getting up at 7:30am for work. So I kept pressing her to move in together. Eventually we trialed it for 2 months, it worked well, no issues. Then last year she got a new job. One day after dinner I said I wanted to talk about our relationship, to make it better. I noted she was tired (through many years I have learned to quantify my statements) so we should set some time up. She went into a meltdown, I did not know why, and at 11:30pm I was over it - I walked off, and sent her text saying I was not there to be used. Next day she broke up over the phone with me (after 10 years together). Initially she did not want to see me much, we have to meet as I am very close to my daughter, but recently she has been much more amenable to chat and talk and spend time. I am afraid of falling into an uncertain place, where I am not sure again if I am in a relationship or not...It really scares me, as I end up being an emotional wreck. I worried about rocking the boat as apart from my emotions, I need to ensure my daughter is not adversely affected - the instability in my ex, our relationship being unclear, has had effects on our daughter already I think.  I have been in a relationship with my ex for 10 years - her previous relationships have not lasted even 2 years so part of me thinks, there might be hope, for the relationship and to give my daughter a family. I sent her sms, asking her this, and she said it was a "left field" question - but has not responded yet. To me it seems that again, she wants to be in an uncertain position (relationship wise) so I now don't know whether to push for an answer or not.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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