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Author Topic: Ex with your family  (Read 163 times)

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 27

« on: September 29, 2020, 11:02:54 AM »

Has anyone else experienced their ex trying to drive a wedge between you and your family, like they don't want you around them, they want to control you all the time?
She did not have a problem wanting me doing things with her family, but with mine it seemed it was the end of the world. Of course it was not that way in the beginning.
brighter future
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 205

« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2020, 11:48:45 AM »

I experienced something similar to that with my pwBPD ex-wife. My father passed away several years ago, and my mother lives alone. As needed, I would go over to her home to help her do the grunt work that she was physically not able to do. At the time, my ex-wife and I were working opposite shifts, so I would help my mother out when my ex-wife was working. There were times I had to drop over to mom's when my ex-wife and I had common off days from work. My ex took exception to me helping out my mother and said "I don't understand why you need to go over there and do this stuff for her." I told her the things I was doing and said that mom wasn't physically able. At that point, she said "Well then. If she can't do it herself, then she needs to hire someone to do it for her." Of course, I took exception to that and told her I'd gladly do the same things for her parents that I was doing for my own mother. My ex-wife also took exception to any other women speaking to me and told me that I "must wear my wedding ring at all times so other women know you're not available." 

We also seemed to do a lot more with her family and friends than I did with my own people. My father attended our wedding, and he passed away four months later. At the wedding, he was very sick and almost wasn't able to attend. He had to be brought into the church in a wheelchair and had to be dressed by some family friends because he was so sick and weak. Needless to say, I was very worried about my dad during the ceremony and was preoccupied with that. Apparently my ex-wife took exception to that as well because during a disagreement roughly a month after dad passed away, she said "Well, this is just like our wedding day. I didn't have your full attention there, and I certainly don't have it now."  Everything is and always will be about her. She has no empathy for anyone or anything.

I'm sorry that you are going through a difficult time, and I hope things improve for you very soon. Best wishes.

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 27

« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2020, 02:44:24 PM »

Thank you for taking the time to answer my question I really appreciate it.
I never understood where her turning against my family members came from I guess she wanted all my attention all the time .

This is so hard on me I actually thought I found my forever relationship the person I would be with forever, and now I feel crushed and it is a terrible feeling.
I posted my long story on here, I’m assuming she bpd it could be something else but she seems to fit bpd although schizoaffective seems to fit too there is so much overlap it seems.
Lucky Jim
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 6172

« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2020, 10:33:12 AM »

Hey Shaken54, Definitely, I have experienced what you are describing.  Getting together with my family proved to be an ordeal, whereas she made getting together with her family easy.  I'm not blaming her, because I allowed it, which I'm not proud of.  When I put my foot down about it, it led to emotional tsunamis.  At some point, it seems easier to avoid the meltdowns, but it leads to isolation from one's family and friends, which leads to losing all perspective, which leads to a downward spiral.  Not fun, believe me!


    A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
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