How can I be supportive but maintain boundaries?

[Miriam88]

My BPDDH had a very hard day. His employer is holding him responsible for his slacking off and blaming co-workers for things at work. He was given a negative performance evaluation. This is actually a first for him because the issues he created in our marriage came about during a period of general break down of his behavior. Now I know it was at work as well as at home. He chose to share this evaluation with me even giving me a physical copy. It is obvious that he wants to lean on me emotionally. I feel so torn. On the one hand, I am very upset with him and have put up boundaries to protect myself after discovering the malicious nature of his infidelity, where he admitted to wanting to hurt me as much as he was hurting. On the other hand, I don't want him to go back to the hospital or to face more consequences of his emotionally immature behavior. Do I treat him like a child I am parenting through a mistake? That seems so unhealthy, but kind of called for given the reality of this situation.
I have such pity for him.
He actually did volunteered to do a favor for me, something he used to love to do but hasn't been around to do in a while. He ran an errand that would have been a drag for me. Now I wonder if all of those favors had less to do with his commitment to me and the partnership I thought we shared and more to do with his need to feel useful and obligate me to be supportive of him. My feelings are so conflicted, I feel weak because I once again pity him, want to save him and I am grateful to him. However, I also know that my feelings are really not at the center of any of this and actually mean very little to him, which is what makes this all so confusing and sad.

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