Adult child with BDP

[The Log Cabin]

This is my first post.  I am a mother/wife of two adult children, one diagnosed in their teens with BDP.  Refused counselling, refused to accept.  Historically, I have been the receiver of verbal, mental, physical abuse.  It is not uncommon for communication to cease, longest was 2 years.  We are currently in a non-communicative stage.  Something snapped in the last conversation.  Every conversation, every situation, no matter what I say or do, I can’t win, and don’t get me wrong, winning is not the issue  They laughed when I said no matter what, we have always been here for you.  Presently, I have a ton of emotional feelings going on, not sleeping, argumentative at times with family, which is not me. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Huat]

Welcoming you, The Log Cabin

We, too, have lived through periods of no communication with our adult daughter.  Actually are soon to embark on the 5th year of this one.  These periods of being estranged are not new but as years go by the longevity of them are increasing.  Where in the past I would grieve and cry, I find myself numb now with a "Whatever!" attitude.  That is a pretty sad thing for me to write...but that is the way it is.  Then again, it is a good thing that my happiness is no longer pivoting on what is going on with my daughter.

You write that you are the mother of 2 adult children and that 1 was diagnosed with BPD.  Is it only that 1 who is non-communicative with you...or is the other one a problem to you, too?

You also write of not only verbal abuse but of physical abuse, too.  This is extremely concerning!  Once that starts it can escalate.   You mentioned that you are married.  What kind of support do you get from your husband?

I can well understand the emotional feelings that are overwhelming you.  What has happened to you is not acceptable under any circumstances.   Changes need to happen and they need to start with you.

You have waded in here now...your feet are wet.  It is time to start exploring what is offered in the way of information to get you started into making those changes.  Be prepared that nothing happens overnight.  It is a little bit at a time and soon those baby steps you make come more often and your stride gets longer.  Along the way, keep posting.  This is a caring community of people who experience similar hurts.

Once again, welcoming you!

Huat