Seeking support

[orangeTangerine]

Hello everyone. I'm a 38 year old American living in France. I have been married to my French husband for 11 years. We have two daughters, 10 and 12 years old.
My husband has briefly seen a psychologist and psychiatrist in the past. Since being married he attended maybe three sessions with a psychologist in 2015/16 and then saw a psychiatrist only to have a prescription. He has taken antidepressants in the past for maybe one year, 2015/16 . He is currently back on the antidepressants and also takes something for anxiety/to help him sleep. He says he does not need to talk, he needs medication.
I disagree and believe he shows signs of meeting numerous criteria of BPD.

I am here because if I am to stay in this marriage, I want to be able to take care of myself and daughters. I am not to the point of wanting to divorce and physical separation would be complicated. Ideally, I want him to seek help and feel better. I want us to have the opportunity to have a healthy marriage and family.

I'm currently reading i Hate You-Don't Leave Me, Understanding the Borderline Personality by Jerold J. Kreisman, MD, and Hal Strauss.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[SameSame]

Hi-

New to this as well but thought I would chime in so you would have some kind of response.  For me, it's coming down to the decision of - is it possible for me to change enough to steer the relationship in a positive direction enough for it to be "worth it."  Knowing that no relationship is perfect, am I able to alter my own behavior which enables things I don't want (caretaking), or introduces unnecessary challenges (feeding arguments vs resolving them) enough to see a positive impact which maximizes the good of the relationship and minimizes the bad. 

In my experience, there is always time to decide to leave and so it makes sense to try everything you are willing to try before leaving. 

I'm interested in this book High Conflict Couples, as it is billed to be a resource for both the Non-BP and the BP.  Introducing strategies for both, without naming either.  Might be worth a look. 

best of luck!
SameSame