I believe my adult daughter could have BPB

[Parents! Get help here!]

My adult daughter, who has a six-year old child and lives in another state, seems to have BPD. She has not been diagnosed and would never agree to an evaluation or therapy. I don't know what to say or do when she gets into her explosive rages. I've been looking for a support group of parents with adult children who also have to endure this. I would appreciate suggestions and sharing. My siblings are not supportive and blame me somehow. My husband, her step father, is very supportive of me.

[HurtBrooklyn]

My adult daughter, who has a six-year old child and lives in another state, seems to have BPD. She has not been diagnosed and would never agree to an evaluation or therapy. I don't know what to say or do when she gets into her explosive rages. I've been looking for a support group of parents with adult children who also have to endure this. I would appreciate suggestions and sharing. My siblings are not supportive and blame me somehow. My husband, her step father, is very supportive of me.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[formflier]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with the explosive rages.  I'm pleased you have a supportive spouse.

Can you tell me more about the explosive rages  and how you respond and what she does then?

That would be a good starting point to advise you.

You have found people that "get it"...we can help you understand this complicated relationship and evaluate different ways to respond in the future.

I'll check back soon to see your response.

Best,

FF

[beatricex]

Hi HurtBrooklyn,
If you believe your daughter could have one, she very likely does have a personality disorder.  The extreme nature of the behavior is usually what brings someone to seek therapy, read books, and log in to a site such as this one (speaking from my own personal experience).

Are you comfortable sharing more?

A couple examples from my own life.  My Mom is BPD.  She pits people against one another by compulsively lying about someone and scapegoating them.  It normally takes the person years to figure out this is what she is doing.  When they do figure it out, it's very hard to believe or understand because the targeted person is just a random person my Mom chooses from the family.  They are normally well-liked, sucessful, and she harbors some form of jealousy against them.

I'm thinking of my ex brother-in-law, who my Mom targeted years ago.  She was jealous that my sister liked his parents more.

B