Those with BPD develop extraordinary skills of
projecting their behavior toward partners. It keeps you off balance, while doubting yourself, as they continue moving on ...if several BPD steps ahead..
Closure is never their goal, the best in life they can do is maintain a stable of potential and former lovers. Both sick, and sad, you simply need out. Pulling the same con on everyone, they’ll simply stick around longer and return more often to those with something left to give. Parasitical.
You’ve described the BPD modus operandi: become the person you want most, work that until a deeper r/s is required or expected … all the time actively planning and seeking a replacement - while tossing ‘reasons’ at you as to ‘why it’s not working.’ or is your fault. Preemptive blame, and a total disregard for your commitment or feelings.
That’s what you, if not everyone around here - have experienced … as we’re all at different stages of recovery..
My advice: learn, to the extent you conclude, it wasn’t you. Break all contact with this person, forever. Seek a relationship that is not exhausting, one that’s ‘requirements’ cause you to grow in a healthy direction, toward a truly shared goal. Allow for sadness, but learn from it.
Eventually, you’ll have obtained a Superpower! That of spotting, not only BPD’s, but their ‘cluster B’ equivalents… Then you get to warn/ inform your friends about the same.
No pain, no gain - applies to both physical and emotional damage. Heal
