My wife has left and blames me?

[Yoyo1234]

Hi all,
This has been going on for a few years now. I’m certain my wife has bpd, anytime I try to speak to her about it, it’s met with denial. But the only time I try to speak to her is when it’s to late and she’s hating me!   From what I’ve read Splitting? 
 6 weeks ago my wife couldn’t get enough of me, telling me she loved me and how much she missed me being away for one night, sleeping with each other every night I was home. Skip one week, I was away for one night, our daughter (my step daughter) didn’t come home from school on time and my wife couldn’t contact her, I was away and couldn’t help. I came home the next day and my wife told me she wanted to separate. From that day on and for the last six weeks, she has forgotten all the good times, everything is bad, our relationship has always been bad.
This isn’t the 1st time this has happened, it’s happens the same time for the last 3 years. But this time she has taken it a step further and filed for divorce!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Inside]

What you’ve described is what I’d have experienced had I married a former BPD mate.  As is, we lasted three years.  No marriage.  Your wife’s behavior fits the pattern, and if she refuses to seek counseling or therapy, your diagnosis is as good as any. 

It sounds like you’re familiar with the pattern, even if it eludes her.  My experience was that after every one of these type of shove-offs, we never returned to being as close or trusting as we had.  It does not get better. 

Honestly, I’d let her file, even carry through with a divorce.  If you were to have a child with her, not only is there a chance BPD would be passed on, her pattern would continue.