BPD husband with dangerous Alcohol abuse

[Depression = 72% of members]

My husband is undiagnosed BPD. He has had an alcohol addiction as long as I have known him from e 25 years. He got sober for 3 1/2 years and then decided to start drinking again this past January. It has become so unmanageable that for 5 weeks now he can’t get out of bed. He has myself and everyone around him convinced that it was because of depression. But I realize now that it was mostly because of drinking. The depression is just a product of the drinking. He is under the care of a therapist and a doctor that proscribed Prozac. The problem is that he doesn’t really want to quit drinking. He is just wallowing in self pity and using FOG to manipulate me and even our kids. I have been trying to help but I’m at my wits end. I know from past experiences that if I ask him to leave, he will just drink himself into a coma. What can I do?

[Searchingforhelp]

My husband is undiagnosed BPD. He has had an alcohol addiction as long as I have known him from e 25 years. He got sober for 3 1/2 years and then decided to start drinking again this past January. It has become so unmanageable that for 5 weeks now he can’t get out of bed. He has myself and everyone around him convinced that it was because of depression. But I realize now that it was mostly because of drinking. The depression is just a product of the drinking. He is under the care of a therapist and a doctor that proscribed Prozac. The problem is that he doesn’t really want to quit drinking. He is just wallowing in self pity and using FOG to manipulate me and even our kids. I have been trying to help but I’m at my wits end. I know from past experiences that if I ask him to leave, he will just drink himself into a coma. What can I do?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

It’s so difficult when alcoholism combines with BPD. Some say treating the substance abuse is the first priority. However with BPD it seems that the two are so intermingled.

And now with Covid, depression is a big factor for everyone.

Have you investigated Al Anon programs for you? If he doesn’t want to quit drinking, it limits your options. Are his doctor and therapist aware of this?