Need help

[Fzh]

I don't know exactly what to do. My adult daughter needs and wants DBT therapy, but there are none in our area thank take her insurance and work around her work schedule. Is it possible for her to learn with my help?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[beatricex]

Hi Fzh,

welcome

You may want to check out
https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/family-connections/

b

[PearlsBefore]

(The "Family Connections" course Beatrice suggests is fantastic, although in my case the DBT was less on-point than simply being in a room with a dozen people about whose reactions I did not need to worry if I used terms like "I'm not sure, I don't think she's tried to kill herself in x months" or "she was cutting, but it was her outer arm and just a bic razor so I wasn't about to call 9-1-1 or anything"...phrases I can't use even with therapists  without them silently judging me thinking "well if MY loved one were doing that, I would...". Definitely a huge support if you're able to find Family Connections in your area)

There are some DBT workbooks (including some that can be downloaded as pdfs online if you're very remote), and Marsha Linehan's videos are all on Youtube I believe; she's the developer of DBT, and if you're hearing terms like "FAST" and "DEAR MAN" then you've found the right ones.

DBT is offered/works for both the patient and the caregiver in many ways, so if you have the opportunity with your own insurance/schedule it might be worthwhile. For example it can help you learn how to navigate the minefield when your daughter is craving validation but her actions are really not something you want to validate, etc.

[Fzh]

Thank you. I have downloaded the worksheets and was able to chapters 6-10 online.
She tried doing a Metta meditation last night, but it backfired when it brought up thoughts of her ex who was physically and emotionally abusive. She's definitely not in a place where she is ready to forgive him,  may never be. Trying to find different meditations for her as that is something she enjoys.