Need help

[HopeAlwaysyes]

Hello, need help to figure out what to do about my son. - He has been accused of domestic violence by my daughter in law.  Daughter in law has violent outrages and they need to restrained her, never in front of me, always inside their house.  Not able to see my grandkids or my son. She's has isolated my son and grandkids for years. Need help from other people who has gone thru this or similar.  It's been nighmare for our family.

[beatricex]

hi Hopealwaysyes,
Your post will likely be moved to the other section for those with children with bpd (this section is for Parent, Sibling, or In-law), but I wanted to respond and let you know I hear you.

This is very tough.  I hear your pain and fear and it is scary, the domestic violence accusations - they hurt.  Besides having a mother with BPD that I have been dealing with for nearly 50 years (my whole life), I recently found out my step daughter is likely BPD'd. 

It is heart wrenching, it is life changing, and your life with forever feel ungrounded...I get it.  But, I want you to know that you've already taken the important first step, and that is to have hope.  You can be stronger than you know, and I feel you will find that strength.  Please check in here often where you will find friends who understand your situation.

 

b

p.s. my Mom tried to get me arrested and it didn't stick.  Just remember that your son and your grandchildren have you, that is pretty cool don't you think?

[HopeAlwaysyes]

Thank you for answering beatricex.  I don’t know how to use this site yet, but getting there .  50 years is long time but I’m glad you’ still  have the desire and courage to help people like me.  My son is going thru a lot pain right now but I pray this experience will wake him up and make choices for himself.  I don’t know how to help him, talking to him hasn’t worked.  He feels trapped I guess, he loves his kids and his wife. He doesn’t seem to see his wife’s behavior for years and now and it’s escalating real fast... thanks again

[PearlsBefore]

Sorry, it's possible I was confused - so for clarification, is it your son or your violent daughter-in-law that is diagnosed or suspected to be BPD? Either way you'll want to look into some books on BPD parents of young children (most are written about BPD parents of adult children) - if it's the mother, Dr. Christine Lawson has a fantastic book I strongly recommend. I'm not aware of one dealing with BPD fathers of young children but others might have suggestions if that's your situation.